It's been 6 years since I last saw you my dear husband.
I don't know if it's love or hatred that keeps me alive or I'm just selfish, if God want me to die and I keep living .
After your death , I keep dreaming of that night.
It was a rainy night the electricity were off. You then entered the house and a lightning enlighten your face you were wet from head to toes.
You slowly walk towards us and attack our daughter I didn't know why you would do that.
But I smelt a faint smell of alcohol from you.
I was not shocked that you come home drunk but you've never beaten our daughter before. I tried and tried to not let you touched her but I just get pushed away.
She was only 6 months.
Why did you take her away.
WHYYYYY!!!!
If you haven't done that all of this wouldn't have happen I just blame you but I know that you didn't mean to do so, so please come back, I promise I will never hurt you anymore so please forgive me and come back.
It's been six years , and I still haven't forget you.
Do I still love you or hate you after you kill the child or have already forgive you.
I don't know either.
I still remember your voice that is calling me your smell that is like the smell when spring is about to come.
But strangely I don't remember you're face who were you the one who I loved?
I want to see you and talk to you.
I want to fell your warmth around me, I want you to embrace me even if it's just for one second.
I know it is impossible but I want to know where you are now, if you are doing well . My love I really want to remember you but I can't so please find me and tell me that it's you.
And how I remember all of these things when I don't even remember your face.
Why do I feel so much hatred and love at the same time what really happened to me??
