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She couldn't breathe.
That was the only thought that coiled and echoed in her head as she stumbled down the street. Her feet stuttering blindly across the pavement, her hands grappling at the concrete walls that tore through the flesh of her fingers. The ringing in her ears grew louder, her heavy breaths and erratic heartbeat ached in her chest. It physically hurt.
She wanted to take a moment alone, to process the information Mr Hwang had dropped on her head. But she could only draw, that they knew all along. They knew everything, there was nothing to explain because they had been there, seen it all. Witnessed her grief and anger. Watched her spiral. And for what.
Duty, honour, money, loyalty.
Guilt, shame, responsibility, retribution.
But then again, what would she have done if they had told her. To them, lying kept her safe, it kept her protected and gave her an opportunity to live. But just like her mother, they failed. She was back on Smile Capital's radar. Kim Myeong-gil knew her by name and face. There was no way she was safe now. Would she have been prepared had they decided to spill their secret. Or would she have been dead, her death covered in the propagandist stories built by Myeong-gil's empire like her mother.
But none of that mattered to Nari, not as she could barely keep her eyes open. Her fingernails digging into her chest, above her heart to just make the pain stop. The air in her lungs seemed to vanish and the cracks in the tar began to blur in a smooth solid slab of grey.
Her legs gave up shortly after. Knees locked and wobbly, her back slammed into the brick wall. She paid the shudders in her shoulders no mind as the ground grew closer, her knees pulling to her chest as her head lowered. She tried to make herself as small as possible.
Her fingers shook, trembling so vigorously that she could barely lift it. Count to ten. Deep breaths. Her mother's voice soothed but the thought of her mother sent another rack of tremors through her. The reality that if one single decision was made could have been the difference between life and death, had panic seize her in a suffocating grip.
