𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔, ˢᵗᵘʳⁿⁱᵒˡᵒ ᵗʳⁱᵖˡᵉᵗˢ

✦Accidents [Nick] [3]✦

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A month later (i'm sorry. I hate to do this)

"Hello, this is Dr. Mark. I wanted to contact you about your family member, Nick Sturniolo. He was awoken from his sleep and we invite you to visit him," Matts eyes widen at the words, his phone shaking within his nail bitten hands. His body courses with dread and fear, will he be okay? Will he still be mad at us? Does he think I tried to actually hurt him? Will...will he hate me?

The bottoms of his tired eyes become heavy with tears at the thought of his older brother not forgiving him for his mistake. His vision becomes blurry and the tears start to sting, pricking his eyes with regret. Tears won't help. Stop it. Stopstopstop. Matt shoves the tears away, wiping his eyes roughly and biting his swollen lip, cracks from past crying littering them. He kept telling himself that everything was his fault, that his brothers had to suffer all the pain just because he messed up. He even convinced himself that he was the mess up, the unwanted child that always has to deal with mental health stuff that his brothers are fed up with dealing with. He thinks that he shouldn't be alive for the horrible things he put his family through, the times where he got better at their expense.

He would cry himself to sleep every night, regretting everything he did that day. The words he said that probably hurt others around him. The actions that he did that made others uncomfortable. The looks he gave others that they probably interpreted as disgust. The long, drawn out sighs he took that others probably thought were laced with annoyance. He was slowly breaking but no one could tell.

"Yes—um—hello, this is Matt—Nick's brother. Thank you so much for contacting me and helping him through all of this... so, how is he doing now?" Matt says through the phone, not knowing what to say, his voice cracking at the words. He is currently sitting on the big sofa, blankets and pillows thrown over the side of it, as his phone is pressed flushed up against his ear and cheek. He has been waiting for this call for a couple weeks now but now that it has come through he is caught off guard, stuttering over his words.

"It's my pleasure. Also, Nick is doing pretty well. His blood pressure is back to normal and all of his internal bleeding is healed. But when he is discharged from the hospital he should be given a lot of time to rest," Mark says graciously, giving him all the facts straight. Matt gets up from the couch and proceeds to his room, taking long beastly strides (iykyk) over the dark stained hardwood floor. He snatches his car keys from his room in a sweeping grab and walks into Chris' room, lightly kicking open the door. His keys sway within his hand while telling Chris to get ready to go somewhere. Even though Chris doesn't know what is happening, and Matt doesn't tell him, he gets ready anyway. He slips on some shoes and throws on a hoodie with little to no effort.

"Thank you so much Dr. Mark, it was a pleasure talking to you," Matt ends the call and Chris and Matt are out the door within minutes, buckling into the heavily leathered car. Matt quickly backs up out of the driveway and Chris cracks open his Pepsi that he grabbed out of the fridge right before they ran out the door. He hums with a satisfied crack at the pop tab, being confused as Matt's tenseness.

"So...where are we goin'?" Chris puts words to his thoughts. He zeros in on Matt's hands which are practically straggling the steering wheel, driving a little faster than normal. His usually calmness tightening around the edges.

"We—we are going to the hos-hospital. Nick woke up," he stutters, his tears bubbling back up from earlier. He doesn't even know why he is crying but it feels good to do so. He wipes away the tears quickly because they thought of putting Chris in pain by crashing the car again scares him. Chris just got out of the hostile a week ago from his cuts and bruises and Matt is scared to hurt him again.

"Nick woke up?!!" Chris says, realizing Matt's tenseness and urgency, emotions crashing over him.

"Mhmm," Matt hums, his mind running with situations that could happen when Nicks sees them, the thoughts having too much inertia to stop. Will he be mad? Will he hate me? Will he hold a grudge against me?

After twenty minutes of deafening, long and drawn out silence they arrive at the hospital and rush out of the car. After talking to the lady at the front desk they are given the directions to his room. They quickly pace down the corridor to Nick's room and stand right at the front of his room door. Matt and Chris look at each other and take a deep breath before Matt pushes open the door.

When Matt gets a glimmer at Nick he feels lost. IVs are lost at the side of his bed, already been pulled out of his arms probably a couple hours prior. He is wearing a scruffy blue gown, wrapped in a thin too-thin-to-be-called-a-blanket blanket. The small bed he is laying on is laid in the middle of the room while a small table and chairs are pushed to the corner of the room, a vase with flowers decorating the center. Beams of light shine down at the room, seemingly too bright for a place where a patient is supposed to rest and relax to heal.

Nick pushes himself up off the bed slightly, pressing his back against the wall behind him when he hears his brothers come in. To Matt's dismay, he watches as his brother's pale face contort into an emotion he can't read once they walk further into the stuffy, medicine filled room. Disgust? Regret? Loneliness? Foreboding?

"Hi Nick," Chris says hesitantly after he realizes that Matt is too scared to, not able to put words in his mouth.

"Hi," Nick whispers, not knowing what to say. What is he supposed to say? They look at each other, comfort surrounding them by the fact that they are all okay, alive. They stare at each other, taking in each other's features, so relieved to be seeing each other's features and blue eyes, having missed them for the month they were apart.

Silent tears cascade down Matt's face, emotions spilling out of him. He stumbles to the side of Nick's bed, his arms outstretched while with tears turn into audible sobs. He launches himself into Nick's embrace, bending over the side of the bed to hug him. He cries into Nick's shoulder, sniffing heavily while his dreadful tears don't stop.

"Matty. 'M so so-sorry," Nicks starts to cry as he cradles his younger brother in his arms. He has been missing them so much and he is so happy they are here now.

Matt pulls away from the hug, his face tear stained and a blotchy red. "N-no Nick. I'm the one that should be sorry. I hurt you and I am so, so sorry. It's all my fault so-so you can hate me. I would hate myself too—I do actually. I hate that I pu-put you guys in pain and was so arrogant to care about your feelings. I'm so-sorry," the tears that Nick previously wiped away are coming back bigger and harder.

Chris is now shedding silent tears, watching them from the corner. He watches as they look into each other's eyes, seeming to talk through unsaid words. Matt's eyelashes clump together from the wetness and his eyes are a bloodshot red.

"Oh, Matty. I don't hate you, I never did. I am so happy you are here now. I missed you guys so much. I love you so much Matty," he reassures him, his heart torn when he sees Matt in such disarray. He pulls him back into a tight hug, wrapping his warmth around his body, cloaking him in love and endearing.

"I love you so much Nike. 'M so sorry that I took you for granted. I never knew I needed you so much 'till now. I l-love you," Matt whispers, squeezing him even tighter, like he would run away and leave him. Leave them.

"Chris, come he-here. I love you so, so much too. I have missed you both so-so much," Nicks cry's, his arm outstretched for a hug from Chris. Chris trudges over to Nicks side and leans into the warming hug, his arms thrown over his brothers, holding them with his life. That's because they are. They are each others life, each others favorite people. Each other's love.

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Thank you to @llcnmwhjh for the suggestion!!

I love each and every one of you<33

- love eve