❖･｡:˚ *✿—————✦—————✿* ˚:｡･❖
｡:✿————✿:｡
Fire dances upon the lighter as I guide it to my knife. I let the flame eat up the knife, devouring it in fiery heat. The knife throbs with heat as I turn off the lighter. I toss it into the sink and wave my blade in the air. I admire its beauty, the beautiful handmade carvings dug into the handle, the sharpness at the edge. My eyes glimmer hungrily as I swallow, my Adam's apple bobbing up and then down.
I then pull up my hoodie sleeve, the same hoodie that I always use to cover my scars, my hideous body. The same body that I dread to look at. I hate everything about my body. My legs, my thighs, my stomachs, my arms, my eyes, my nose, my hair, my lips, my skin, my hands, and most of all my mind. I hate how my mind perceives people, judging them without any context. I hate that my mind despises everything around me, pushing me to destroy it, break it. I hate that my mind has to think about the things they do. I hate how my mind just decided to shut off my emotions one day, leaving me with the exterior of my hideous body. I hate that my mind has dug me too deep into this hole that I have created. The hole is filled with sorrow and dread that follows me everywhere that I go. God, I just hate that I am the way I am.
My crystal coated eyes glaze over the blade, like it's something I have longed for, what I crave. I ready the blade over my wrist, the last space on me that isn't cut. I am running out of space, the emptiness overtaking me. I finally press the blade to my wrist and all the pain comes flooding out of me, like a river bursting from a broken dam. The blade seers into my wrist, its heat burning through layers of skin, leaving me a pain full mess. I push the knife ruther into my molten skin, the throb of pain ringing through me. I welcome the pain, swim in it as blood trickles out of me. The pain shoots to every inch of my body and the lighting of it tickles through me.
I hiss lowly, dragging the blade across my wrist, making a clean ring around my whole wrist. I watch the knife as it dances around my body, drawing crimson blood from me, staining my body red, littering my skin with mountains and valleys of cuts. I stare at the blade with a certain pleasure gleaming across my eyes. My throat grows dry, my head turns to a blur. A type of faint TV static overcomes my eyes as I drop the blade to the ground. I hear the metal banging to the tiled floor, the blade hitting the frigid ground. Once the blade settles on the ground my knees give out.
Then I am falling. I fall backward, the back of my head hitting the bunt of the wall. My head screeches a fiery cry, my thoughts bleeding together in a wave of comfort. I fall into the hard wall, sinking further into the ground. I press my back into the wall, exhausting a wince out of me from the new cuts that I have created yesterday that now dance across my spine.
I press my back harder into the wall, welcoming the uncanny pain. I stretch out my legs, the cuts that decorate them stretching out, opening the wounds. Now my legs are bleeding the same crimson blood, the one I have seen too many times before. I close my eyes as I relax my head to the back of the wall, my head becoming a blackness of pain.
In out, in out, in out, I breathe shakely, my breaths coming short. My body becomes weaker by the second, the blood flowing too much. The blood seeps into the ground, finding its place in the grout, staining it a beautiful red.
I open my numb eyes, tears rolling out of me now. I take one of my hands out of my lap, the one that is prettied with the new cuts. I drag the hand over the bloodied ground, my soft fingertips dancing in the red. I draw words into the blood, scratching the words into the thick water.
I'm sorry
Once I'm done drawing I take my hand away, only to admire it out in front of me. I rotated my hand around, gazing at the beautiful cuts that are now etched into my skin. I watch as the cuts are already trying to fix themselves, new skin closing around them. I can't seem to pri my eyes away as I realize how oh so beautiful they are. I find the cuts beautiful, like a flower in the rain. So pretty, yet so ugly. So beautiful, yet so painful.
Then my arm falls to my side as my throat becomes more dry, my lips becoming a cracked mess. I slowly wet my lips with my rough tongue, finding it uncomfortably hard to move with the lack of energy. I close my eyes shut again as I bask in the pain, my mind submitting to the darkness. My breaths soon start to come short, my chest feeling as though it is being squeezed, pushing against the unbearable pain.
I try to relax, stop the tension in my chest. As I relax I don't realize I am giving into the lightness of my mind. It feels as though my consciousness is floating away. I give into the darkness, starting to feel lighter than before. It feels like I am drifting away.
Soon my breaths become scarily infrequent. My body tenses one more time. All of my muscles contract. Blood squeezing out my body. The pain doesn't even feel bad anymore. It feels good. I'm hungry for more of it.
Then my body relaxes after the tenseness and my breath stops. Comes short. Then my body sinks further
further
further
into the ground.
Breathing can't be h—
heard
anymore.
My mind
crashes
crumbles
falls
darkness
pain
death...
｡:✿————✿:｡
❖･｡:˚ *✿—————✦—————✿* ˚:｡･❖
Hi
It's me again
Part 4 of Accidents is coming out soon but I just had an idea to make this chap
I wrote this in like 30 mins out of determination
How are you guys doing?
- love eve
VOUS LISEZ
𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔, ˢᵗᵘʳⁿⁱᵒˡᵒ ᵗʳⁱᵖˡᵉᵗˢ
Aléatoire⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄ 𝐈𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 ↓ A lot of random shit happens to the Sturniolo Triplets. A collection of Sturniolo Triplets oneshots :) Suggestions are always open and I will write about almost anything. Well, other than smut...
