I don't know ; I don't write but I don't have a therapist

Part title

One day I just woke up , I don't remember much . I don't know quite know who I am or where I'm at . But I can feel my fingers touch and the edges of my short sleeved shirt touch the backs of my arms just right above my elbow. I can see . I see everything. I see that I'm in a small room and I'm sleeping on a couch.I turn over and someone they call my half sister is sleeping there w me. I'm 3 years old and I don't remember much before that. So this is where my life begins.
      My name is absolute, I have brown hair that barely grasp my shoulders, brown eyes and everything else about me is just small. I'm small, and I'm constantly reminded. I'm up and I'm hungry but I'm scared and Idk why I'm scared. I have a deep fear in the pit of my stomach . A nasty feeling, like butterflies except these butterflies are pouncing into my very core. And I can feel every inch of strength they use. I'm still tired . But I'm sitting there . I struggle to get off couch. I hear someone . She's crying but idk her . She's curled up in a ball and water is running from her eyes and nose. And I notice she's a different color than me in fact she's more than 1 color. I see she's whiter but she's also has small spots and big spots of red and blue everywhere. Her mouth is lopsided . One side is bigger than the other. She's yelling at me but I don't understand what she's saying. But I realize she's what they call my mom. And I'm just standing there staring noticing every detail. Minutes later I fly and land on the back of my head. I'm shocked and hurt and panicked. I look up and it's my dad. He's raging. He doesn't seem right. Is this him all the time ? His eyes look angry . And his mouth is pierced into a growl . His shoulders are broad and his arms are big . I look down and I notice his knuckles are red. And I look back at my mom and I start cry. I'm hungry and small...