𝐃𝐢𝐥-𝐞-𝐙𝐚𝐚𝐫 (revamped) | ✓

sixteen

I harshly got rid of the pins---- and threw the multiple dupattas off of me. I was sobbing, angrily.

My throat was burning and I just wanted to destroy something. I grabbed a glass from my desk and threw it on the wall.

I sat down on my bed, trembling uncontrollably. I held my head in my hands and then harshly wiped my tears.

My hair was open now as I had removed the pins. They were messy and my makeup was ruined from crying.

I rubbed my throat, a habit I have whenever I'm stressed, in pain, or crying.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face. Drying my face with the towel, I went downstairs to the kitchen, when my arm was grabbed by someone.

A thief!

He turned me around, making me face him and then he covered my mouth before I could scream.

It's just Zaroon.

"Yeh kya tha, Jannat? Tum bina batai chali gai tumhe pata hai sab kitna parershaan the?" He asked.
(What was that Jannat? You left without telling anyone do you have any idea how worried everyone was?)

"Agar unko meri feelings ki parwah nahi hai toh mai unki feelings ki kyun parwah karon?" I asked, stubbornly. I pushed him away, making him step back as I freed myself from his grip but he grabbed me again and this time harshly. His grip was tight.
(If they don't care about my feelings why should I care about theirs?)

"Bachon wali batain mat karo, Jannat. Agar tumhe mana kar rahe hain toh tumhari safety ke liye kare hain. Hamey hai tumhari parwah." Zaroon said glaring into my eyes.
(Don't talk childishly. If we are refusing to let you go we are doing it for your safety. We do care about you)

"Nahi chahiye tumlogon ki parwah." I said slightly pushing him off and then going upstairs.
(I don't need your caring)

I went inside my old room when he burst into the room, grabbing me and bringing me close to him.

"Itni choti si baat ke liye tum bohut badtameezi karhi ho, Jannat, I swear to god fix this behaviour." He said.
(Just for a small thing you are behaving so rudely)

"Choti si baat nahi hai!" I exclaimed trying to push him off but he just tightened his grip.
(It's not just a small thing)

"It is a small thing actually. You are choosing your career, a career that won't even matter over your family. Over me!" He yelled and I was slightly scared.

He had yelled at me before but it never bothered me. But it scared me this time.

Career that won't matter.. what does he even mean by that?

I didn't say anything, just glared at him. He took a look of my figure his eyes lingering at the low cut of my blouse and my heaving chest.

He pushed me away, making me take a step back and then walked towards his room. Our room.

I controlled myself trying not to cry angry tears because of his harsh behaviour before going after him.

He was taking off his coat while standing infront of the mirror.

"Tum hota kon ho mujhpe ghussa karne wale!?" I yelled and yet he just ignored me.
(Who are you to get mad at me?!)

"I should be the one to get mad, to treat you harshly!" I yelled grabbing his arm to turn him around.

He looked at me, let out a sigh and then walk past me like I wasn't even there. I stood staring at where he was standing before turning and walking towards him.

"Mujhe ghussa karna chahiye. Mujhe naraz hona chahiye. Aaj sab ne toh mujhe hurt kiya hai, Zaroon. Lekin tumne mujhe zyada hurt kiya hai. Mujhe laga tha ke atleast.. atleast agar meri family mujhe support nahi karegi toh mera Zaroon mujhe support zaroor kare ga. Lekin nahi. Mai toh galat thi" I said, while jabbing my finger on his chest.
(I should be the to get angry. I should be the to get mad. Today everyone has hurted me, Zaroon. But you have hurted me the most. I thought that atleast if my family don't support me, my zaroon will support me. But no. I was wrong)

He again ignored me and took his watch off and carefully put it on his side table and acted like I was invisible.

"Zaroon!" I yelled.

"Jannat, please!" He shouted.

"I'm really tired. And you are making me more tired and annoyed. So please just stop and leave me alone" He said walking away again and inside the bathroom.

"Fine, ignore me! Ignore me all you want, Zaroon! But don't expect me to beg for your acknowledgement!" I yelled.

I stared at the door, having a little hope that he'll open it and walk back inside the room.

"Don't you ever talk to me again!" I yelled and walked to my room.

I sat down on my bed and just cried. I was hurt and angry. But mostly, I was angry. If Zaroon has temperamental issues, then I am worse than him.

I will go to Oxford, no matter what. Agar bhagna para toh bhaag longi. Oxford has been my dream since I was 11. This is for my career, if I want to be a fashion designer.