Grey IV - Chains

Chapter 35 - Levi's Word

I reached for the handle, pausing without wanting to, my body refusing to do what my mind ordered. I flexed my fingers and willed myself the last inches. It felt like miles, like days, a lifetime of rolling a stone up a hill, but I wouldn't stop, not with my family behind me, depending on me, believing in me, not with some form of James on the other side of that door - some part of him screaming to be freed from where he had stashed his soul.

Warmth wrapped me as my fist closed around the door handle - Malachi sharing his Gift. He had gotten good at creating positive emotions all on his own, it was funny how his use of his Gift had changed so much. A perfect picture of how he had changed too. I suppose all of us had. Nevaeh and Kael had continued training with their tutors while Malachi, Ailech, and I were searching for my mother, and then James. The strides they had made with their mages were impressive - it made the history of mages and Darklings, the delicate relationship we used to hold, make sense, until my kind nearly caused their extinction. I hadn't seen Chi and her boys since returning, I hadn't left my room enough to run into them, but I assumed they had continued their practice as well. Everyone except me had continued on as if the war wasn't already lost.

All this and more swam in my mind, flashing in slow motion as it whirled faster and faster - but then I pushed the door open and saw James, the curl of his lip, showing his teeth in warning like an animal, a monster. My breath caught, my chest ached, and suddenly I felt sick, but I scowled back, stepping into the room. He didn't need to know how his beastly nature affected me, how I felt the floor tilt at the thought of what I was about to do. He didn't need to know anything. He just needed to bleed.

"It won't work, little wing. But go ahead and kill me, just don't pretend it's because you're trying to save me. I know it's because you want your old James or none at all, because you so desperately want this version of me dead. You've probably even convinced yourself it's what I would have wanted. And this way you can blame your enemies for my death. It's a good plan actually, rally the troops and get rid of your love's lookalike all in one move. Sly. So do it, drain me for your oh so high and noble cause, say how hard this is for you, put on your little show, trick them, trick yourself - but you can't trick me."

His voice was so sure in his mocking, like he knew he was right, like he knew everything, just as he used against our enemies back before everything fell apart. He was still just as good at convincing others, at getting them to hear him, believe him, to do whatever he wanted. I felt nervous eyes shift to me, Kael and Nevaeh's, the ones most accustomed to listening to him, to following him. But I knew what he was doing, and I wouldn't let his words slink beneath my skin. He wouldn't die. And this would work. It had to.

I Shifted, needing the added strength, the single-minded control and discipline it gave me. The shelter from my emotions. My voice always listened better when I was like this, when I suffocated my humanity.

"Mmh, nice try Gabriel - I'd almost believe you if you weren't such a liar. But you're just an addict who would say anything to keep your fix. Maybe this version of you forgot, but I've been where you are, I was bound to someone too, and I would have done anything to keep his poison in my veins. But you didn't let that happen, and now, I'm returning the favor, dear Pair."

I continued to walk further into his room as I spoke until I was just an arm's length from him. I saw his arms shaking, the strain in his muscles, but he was frozen, Abby power and Ailech's pull working. My air joined, encasing him, pressing down as I leaned forward until my face was even with his. He met my eyes with black hatred, and if I wasn't Shifted, it might have sent a shiver down my spine. Instead, I whispered just for him.

"You aren't James, and I don't answer to you - but you're right about one thing - he would rather die than be what you are."

I straightened quickly, raising my voice so the others could hear.