pieces of me: poems

piece eight

11:11

I was told when I was nine

that once I'd think about you,

you'd give me what I'd want.

You'd give me hope

and a smile to wear

like a pearl necklace.

11:11

I now lay awake every night,

toying with these shiny, opalescent pearls,

looped and displayed around my neck.

I still stare at those golden hands,

watching them move farther away.

Eight, tick, nine, tick, ten, tick–

Eleven.

11:11

You bring false hope

when you trick me into believing

that you can keep a promise.

And now, when I open my eyes,

all I can see

is a liar who pains me

whenever I wear that meaningless piece of jewelry.

11:11

Why are you a betrayer

when you can be any other number,

or something that doesn't even exist?

Maybe then I wouldn't waste my time,

staring up at the dark sky full of bright stars

and believing that you still hold the key to my happiness.

11:11

You make me cry a waterfall of tears

when you let me slip through your fingers rather than hold me.

I go from keeping my dark secrets locked in a chamber,

to handing you the key to my vulnerability.

I'm only setting myself up for bruises and a broken heart,

which will scar me forever.

11:11

I know better now than to trust your twisted lies.

I've unclasped the silver chain that's held these pearls together,

allowing them to fall to the ground and crack.

I don't care about those meaningless golden hands

that are now rusting from the oxygen that I can finally breathe.

You've lost the right to make me smile.

20.4.2022