Chapter 10

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"No, Cerise. I won't leave Bash." I said with certainty. Melody had already gone to help Bash, and I wanted to join her.

"That's very noble of you, but we already sent Onyx and Alanna."

"You didn't see what I saw, Cerise. These were very large men. Bash needs me." She stopped packing the puzzle and gave me the hardest look she'd ever given me.

"You will run, Jasmine. You will run so that our sacrifice won't be in vain."

"How can I leave him to die?" I asked. Tears were flowing down my face at an alarming rate. When was the last time I cried this hard?

"He is only doing his duty as the rest of us will. We knew this moment would come and that we would protect you with our lives."

"What if my duty is to help him?"

"Your duty is to be the future of Avenlea. Your duty is to protect her with your life."

She wipes the tears from my eyes. "You need to be strong for Avenlea. This is your destiny."

She hands me the duffel bag and pushes me to the door. She shoves me in the opposite direction of Bash and instructs me to run. And I do.

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"No!" I yell, thrashing on the floor.

"Hey! Hey! Jasmine. Wake up!" Miles shakes my shoulder, trying to wake me. "It was just a nightmare. It's alright. You're alright."

I can't stop shaking. The cold sweat on my forehead is starting to drip on the blanket. He pulls me into his arms, keeping me still. Gods, I can't catch my breath.

It takes me a few minutes to get my breathing back to normal. I must've fallen asleep while talking to Miles about the plan.

"How long have I been asleep?" I croak. Gods, even my throat is parched. He silently hands me a glass of water that I drink quickly, handing him the glass back so that he can fill it again.

"Only a few minutes. I was about to carry you to the bed when you started screaming." He says. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He's so understanding that it makes me want to scream. No. That's not it. But I won't admit what I'm feeling right now. Not even to myself.

"Not particularly."

"Then we won't talk about it." He smiles reassuringly.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before I break it.

"I'm the reason they're dead." I whisper it so softly that I can barely hear it.

"Bash and Melody?" He asks. He rests his back against the wall next to me, taking my hand in his.

"And Cerise, Alanna, and Onyx." The guilt has been eating at me these past two years.

"Why do you think it's your fault?" He's not mocking me; he's clearly confused.

"I don't just think it's my fault; I know it's my fault." He waits patiently for me to continue. "They died protecting me. Three bounty hunters attacked me and Bash in the middle of training two years ago. I ran when he told me to. I should've stayed, even if it meant I would've died."

"They were only doing their duty, Jasmine. Your life was on the line."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" I'm starting to get angry. Why is it that they have to die for me? What obligation were they under to protect me with their lives?

"It's because it's true, Jasmine. If you had died that day, then their deaths would've been meaningless. Their lives too, since they'd dedicated them to raising you. You are the future of Avenlea."

"Why is there a bounty on my head, Miles?" I look him straight in the eye, daring him to lie to me.

"This line of thinking won't help, Jas. You'll keep thinking of ways you could've saved them, but the only way you're here right now is because of their deaths. It's bleak, but it's the truth. If you hadn't run, you would've been dead too, and it would've all been for nothing."

"Don't you think I know that? That at sixteen, I was practically useless to any fight I would've entered, if not a liability." The words are pouring out of my mouth before I can stop them. "I should've trained harder. I should've known that I would need all the strength I could get. I should've fought so that I didn't have to live with the pain of knowing that I killed the only people that had cared about me since the day I was born."

"I assure you, your life is valuable to all of Avenlea. You're our saviour. I'm sure of it."

"Saviour? I couldn't save five people; how do you expect me to save an entire kingdom?" I laugh mockingly.

"There is a prophecy that our Oracle told us years ago. It speaks of a child who will set his people free. A child that will wield the phoenix's true flame."

"You said 'his' Miles. I am not a man."

"Our Oracle tells prophecies in the old language. There are no feminine or masculine pronouns in Avenlea's old language. Only the translation includes any pronouns at all. Our scribes have also concluded that the phoenix flame wielder may not even be a fire wielder. Many Avenleans have tried and failed to conjure a phoenix flame, so when the King saw your face on the wanted poster, he commanded me to bring you to Avenlea. To see if you can wield it."

I laugh without humor. Phoenix flame my ass. If only I had as much confidence in my abilities as Miles has in me. 

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