✿ TO BE NOT LOVED ✿

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ALAIA

"And someone was worried about me catching the cold." I said, holding back my laugh.

He tried to say something back to me but then ended up sneezing. I passed him the tissue box and sat on the chair next to his bed.

"I don't like rainy weather." He complained, pressing his fingers over his forehead.

"Uh, huh." I laughed.

"Alaia, I'm serious- I hate..." He sneezed again.

"Bless you for the eighteenth time."

He made a face. And I'd be lying if I say that he doesn't look cute with red nose and a permanent scowl over his face.

His phone rang with notifications and he casted a glance to it and chuckled. "Want to hear something funny?"

I nodded, enthusiastically.

"There's Adhrit-this friend of mine who's recently married. He texted asking for the procedure to open a NGO. His wife might've said to him something about social issues and now he wants to open the NGO for her after telling her a lie that he already runs it. Now he's desperate to gather all the details and the other two of our friends are confused that when did he get married?" He said.

A smile lighted up on my face. "I find it rather sweet."

He gave me confused look. "That everyone in confused about his marriage?"

I shook my head. "No, that he's planning to open NGO just for her. It's good to see men in love. It's like they can do anything for their woman, I find it amusing."

His smile falters. An itching silence fell between us when shifted his eyes away from me.

Did I say something wrong?

After a brief pause, he licked his lips.
"I-I...."

"What's wrong, Agastya?" I asked in concern.

"I can do anything for you but Alaia-"

"Yes."

"I can't love you."

My heart scattered. I played with my bangles, his words sinking deep into my chest as if they've been made with glass.
Suffocation build up in my throat but I nodded anyways. "I know..."

I know but who's going to tell this stupid heart which knows nothing than to beat for Agastya?

I've thought about this many times. I've told myself many times that my love for him is enough, that I can live with him even if fails to feel the same for me. But it broke my heart everytime. It made me wonder everytime that what it is to be loved by Agastya? To be loved by him the way he loves Zoya.

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