✿ TO BE LIKED ✿

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ALAIA

“Alaia, please tell me what happened?” Anaya creased my hair when I hugged her tightly and cried into her arms.

I shook my head. “Nothing, I just don't feel good.” I barely managed to whisper.

“If Agastya dared to hurt you then I swear to God, I'm going to—”

“Please, don't ask me anything. I really don't feel good. My heart, it's aching and the suffocation in my throat, it's killing me.” I cried.

Tears streamed down my face and after minutes to silence, I pull myself away from her. “Anaya.”

“Yes.”

“Am I not good enough?” I asked, my body shaking in pain.

“No. Don't think like that.”

“Then why nobody loves me? Why it is me to suffer all my life yet never be loved? My family— no one, I've never been loved. And now, Agastya too. He said that he's never going to love me.” I broke down all over again.

Clenching my chest, I tried to swallow the air but I wasn't able to breathe properly. It was as if I was below the water and struggling for oxygen knowing very well that no one's going to save me.

I'm so stupid. I'm so— Why I'm like this? Why I've to be so emotionally fragile? So, what if Agastya's never going to love me? Why I can't be the same to him? Why I let my boundaries down even after knowing that his heart already belongs to someone else?

Why did I invest my emotions so much into him that now all I'm left is with pain and tears?

I was ready to wait for him. I could've waited for him another eight years, the same time he had taken to mourn for Zoya? I swear, I could've waited for him even more than that but why did he has to do this? Telling me over and over again that he's never going to love me, why did he do that? It was better to hear the lie from him than to be ripped apart from his truth. He took the hope from me. The hope that maybe someday I'm also going to be loved.

“Listen to me sweetheart, I don't know what happened between you and him but please stop crying. It's his loss if he's not able to sort out his feelings for you.” She passed me a soft smile.

“But it hurts.”

“Agastya is a douchebag to hurt you. Please give yourself some time. You can stay with me for couple of days if you want, you don't have to go back to him.” She patted my shoulders.

“Please don't call him that.” I said, feeling a pang in my chest.

“Okay, try to sleep it's already midnight, okay?” She chuckled.

I nodded, absentmindedly.

She left the room.

I stared at the ceiling, wondering how in a flip of a second, everything changed. We were dancing yesterday, we kissed, he gave me all those happy feelings that I've always craved for but then he ripped apart the bandage that he had pasted on my heart.

After what happened in the morning, I wasn't able to think straight. I didn't know where to go, I just wanted to go away from him. And when I tried to talk to Anaya crying over the phone call, he asked me to come to her house.

I haven't heard anything from Agastya since the morning.

I clenched my eyes shut and lay down on the bed trying to sleep. Burying my face on the pillow, I let the tears flow.

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