Second Fate

3

Seven Years Ago

"I must've forgotten it here when I stayed over last Friday ... I'll go grab it from Neal quickly, and I'll be down in a second", promised Caitlyn while she was already half-up the wooden staircase of the mansion.

"It's alright ... but hurry."

Since Jenny was expecting us to return with some vegetables and juice from the local supermarket, we had to go and fetch Caitlyn's purse from the mansion. It was a pretty building, freshly renovated, but I didn't feel at ease in here. A few weeks had passed since she'd started to date the owner of the house and I'd been over a couple of times for coffee or snacks, but I always felt watched here. As if everyone was standing on attention while I was visiting.

If I hadn't spent my last bucks on drinks over the weekend, we could've avoided this pitstop.

I could hear someone humming in the garden, while the rest of the house was silent. For once, there wasn't a handful of people spread out through the lower levels, talking, laughing, and working with each other. The good weather must've lured them outside.

All but one. I knew the owner of the footsteps before his broad-shouldered frame came into my sight of vision.

"Are you here with Caitlyn?", he asked brusquely.

I pulled my dark eyebrows together and frowned at him because he was staring me down. "Yes, and? Am I not welcome?"

"I didn't mean to – you just haven't been here for a while."

"No one invited me."

"Caitlyn can have you over with her whenever she wants to", he replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

"If she wants me to, I'm sure she'll tell me."

My voice had been a little sulkier than I'd intended, and I could feel his attention rise.

"Are you ... alright?"

Our gazes locked and the humming in the distance fell silent as I swam in those emerald pools. I hadn't noticed it before but there was a strange glow to his eyes at times. It didn't feel cold or abrasive even though his words were terse.

It felt like ...

"No. I don't know what I'm doing."

The words had broken out of me before I knew it and Vine's green eyes widened for a second.

"I mean, I know why I'm here. I just don't know where I'm going, in general", I repeated nervously. The words had been on my mind for weeks or even months maybe, but I'd never told anyone. There was no one with an opinion I gave two cents about. So why was I telling him – and why now? "Everybody is telling me that I need to know but I don't. Jenny wants me to study and go get a degree; Caitlyn thinks love and a family is how you become happy. And everyone is mad at me for doing what I've always done. But I don't care about college, and I don't want kids, I don't think. I don't know what's right to do."

His lips opened a little, but no sound came out. After a second, he closed them tightly.

"I don't know if I can do this", I followed up, my voice becoming a little strained.

Seconds passed, while the grandfather clock in the background ticked away, and neither one of us said a word. I wasn't sure if Vine was thinking about my situation or if he was trying to phrase What the fuck are you saying to me in a kinder way.

"I'm not someone you should come to for advice", he finally said. "But if you want my opinion ... if there is something like the optimal choice, you'll never know if you've made it. Don't think so much that you've got to regret not having tried anything. Try something – and change your path, if it's not making you happy."