Second Fate

10

The lack of an answer immediately made me regret my attempt at proving my resilience to him. I was no gym rat, but my job kept me moving and I was often forced to carry heavy boxes around the store. Even with biceps half the size of Vine's under arms, I was in better shape than ever.

His fingers moved over the bare skin of my upper arms, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Finally, he closed his hand around my underarm and applied some pressure – as if he wanted to test how much it could take.

There was a brief look of relief on his face when I didn't wince or pull my arm away.

Then he was dead silent for about half a minute before he voiced his thoughts.

"I need to say this. About seven years ago", he began with little more than a mumble. With every word he gained some decisiveness. "I wasn't in a good place, much less a place where I could accept the possibility of being given a second fate."

There you go again, trying to turn this into a mate bond.

As soon as he noticed the disgruntled look on my face, he pressed my arm again as if to say Wait and listen.

"I behaved like an ass back then, but that doesn't mean I didn't already feel what I feel for you now. I just had to keep everyone at arm's length after what had happened. The thought that something good could happen to me just never crossed my mind – and there are still people who fault me for playing a part in her death."

My annoyance vanished with his words and instead, a freezing cold spread through my chest. How exactly had Kenna died?

"And then Caitlyn appeared and Neal and her got together and suddenly you were there. Someone for whom I felt what should've been gone forever." He swallowed. "I thought I was confused because of Kenna's disappearance, and that my feelings were all messed up. Never once did I consider ... I mean, I do think I knew. I just couldn't accept it back then."

We'd been teenagers when we met, Vine barely nineteen. If he'd already met Kenna and spent some time with her as mates, then she couldn't have been gone for long when I entered his life.

"The truth is, I wouldn't have been a good influence on you, especially when you were in bad shape already."

In bad shape was one way to express my past attempts to drown loneliness in alcohol and numb it with pills.

"But why do you think you wouldn't have been good for me?" I was looking for you to reach out even then, I added in thoughts.

"After K–"

"More importantly even, that's my decision", I cut into his answer, when I realized that he'd been deciding things by himself. "You couldn't have expected me to realize this is fate. I'm human. I wasn't exactly waiting for this to happen."

"I know. That's precisely why I ... it was a mistake, but I was relieved that you didn't know. I thought you'd move on – because you're human – and find happiness with someone who was a better fit for you."

The fleeting memory of our reunion came to my mind. He'd asked, Are you happy?

What would have happened if I'd lied and said yes?

"But I didn't", I muttered. Memories of a young Caitlyn tumbling into a relationship as confusing as unavoidable flooded my mind; and the conviction she'd held throughout the whole ordeal. This is who I am supposed to love. "Still, who'd be a better fit? Isn't that what fate is all about?"

I could see that he had to force the words out as he replied. "I wasn't for Kenna. So how was I to be sure that I wouldn't–"

"Play a part in my death too?", I continued his sentence for him and saw him flinch.