Second Fate

12

12

He nodded, while his eyebrows moved together and separated again. It was obvious that he was fishing for words, for how to phrase his story, so I didn't press him.

Finally, he took a breath and started speaking. "With Kenna, it was different to what you'd expect from fate. We always knew that we were, ever since we met at fourteen, but we never ... we weren't dating as per definition. No rules, no promises. I don't think she wanted to hurt me with that, she just couldn't do it."

Which meant they hadn't even been a couple, I recognized with slight surprise. Until now, I'd thought that fate would bring people together with a force that they couldn't deny. At least I'd felt pretty helpless during the last weeks.

"She ran off a lot, ever since she was young. Long before we met, it started, and it got worse with age. Maybe she felt trapped with her family, but she never asked me to take her away. Instead, she came to me when one of her moods hit and used me as a hiding place. But then she'd disappear again, and no one would see her for days or even weeks. She'd come back with strange tattoos, talked of people I'd never heard of, sometimes she looked like she'd been starving for weeks without sleep." He took a sudden break as if he'd decided not to go into more detail here. I waited with bated breath, until he continued: "At some point I started to get in her way and ask her where she was off to. I tried to join her even."

Before my eyes, a young Vine took on form, barely eighteen, sitting on the hard bed in his room and arguing with Kenna. She was faceless but I could hear her shrill laughter and harsh comments ringing in my head.

"You must've felt so helpless", I murmured, as I caught his gaze.

He blinked but didn't comment on that. Instead, he went on to explain, "Once she wasn't acting like herself at all, and I refused to let her leave out of worry. I must've annoyed her with my questions, so she got me this." His fingers flew up to the frazzled border of his scar. "I learned my lesson. The next time, I let her leave again – and no one saw her again after that."

I was speechless, so I just stared at him; at his face and at the deep scar which crossed his entire face. How could someone do this to someone they loved?

"So she just left", I said, sounding a little more choked than I'd anticipated. There was no big mistake which should weigh on his shoulders; no fight that had gone ugly and scared her away; just a girl who'd abandoned him.

"She died a couple weeks after leaving", he said in a suspiciously monotone voice, "and I know for certain, because it felt like someone had cut out a part of myself with a glowing knife."

"That's terrible, Vine. Everything that you went through. You were way too young to deal with that." I didn't believe for one second, that someone who was healthy could do these things, so I gave Kenna the benefit of the doubt and kept myself from cussing her out. She must've had her own issues – which might explain, but never excuse what she did to Vine. "But why do you feel so guilty about it?"

"If I'd been there for her more –"

"–then you'd have more than just a scar, you know that", I fell into his justification. It made no sense to beat himself up about doing what had undeniably been his best.

The expression on his face was hard to describe but it felt like a blow to the guts. Slowly, I leaned against his forehead with mine. His skin was unusually hot, warmer than that of a human, but I didn't really register any of that.

Kenna was still playing in my head as she sliced his face, over and over again, in my thoughts.

A part of me that had gotten greedy wished to have met him earlier, before he and Kenna Montgomery could meet. Maybe this scar wouldn't exist then.