Grey II - Ghosts

Chapter 10 - Truth & Trust

I know I'm a wolf and I've been known to bite, but the rest of my pack, I have left them all behind.
And my teeth may be sharp and I've been raised to kill, but the thought of fresh meat, it is making me ill.
So I'm telling you that you'll be safe with me.

Young Heretics - I Know I'm a Wolf

I stood and all but Syn moved back, even Chi, though her reaction was slight, just a minute roll back onto her heels. I walked over to the wall before leaning on it and closing my eyes, rubbing my wrists where they had been bound. I had newly healing scars encircling each wrist from when I had pulled against my binds, from when my insanity, my withdrawals, had controlled my actions.

I breathed out a strength name, glad to be able to pull from Heaven once again, now that the electrum's curse was no longer holding me. It had felt terrible and strange to not have my powers, to feel Human and weak, to feel like I had before I met my Clan, my old Clan. I felt Chi and her brothers' eyes on me, so I squinted one open, just barely, before I spoke.

"Don't worry, I'm won't eat you. I'm going soon. I just need a moment. I was tied up for almost three weeks."

I attempted a smile, but even I could sense it didn't look real. I barely even remembered how to fake it. I had been working at surviving my emotions, my sadness, containing them somewhere separate from myself, as often as I could in the last few days, almost constantly working through them, learning to cope. I hoped that if I continued, if I kept up the effort, kept my head above their waters for long enough, then maybe I could handle them one day, but smiling was still too far a stretch for me.

Spade looked down at Chi and I saw him raise his eyebrows. Horn and Halo, twins, looked incredulous as they crossed their gorilla-like arms over their chests in unison. Syn merely watched me. I saw Chi think of something, her eyes intense, weighing her options. It was then that I felt my Gift again, I opened it up, allowing it to fill my mind, to rise from its slumber, drinking in the feel of its strength. It had missed me, and I it. I no longer felt a wariness towards it like I had under Jevin's spell. I was no longer afraid to feel others' minds now that I had my own back. I immediately let it out, sending it to Chi first.

She was considering letting me stay, just for a night or two, but the thought of having a Half under the same roof as her Clan, not as a captive, frightened her. She had never actually met a Half, though she was hoping I didn't know that. But she had heard stories, the same as we all had, and she was worried this was all an act.

I moved my Gift to the others, relishing the feeling of their minds in mine. Spade didn't trust me, Horn and Halo didn't trust anyone, but Syn...Syn's mind was quiet. I felt a spark of something familiar from his mind, a companion to my own Gift that reached to me like an old friend, greeting my Gift's return to the world.

"I know you're contemplating being kind, letting me stay, but you know what to expect from Halflings, and I can hear your doubts. You want to protect your Clan. I know firsthand how...how deceitful my kind can be. Let Syn see my past, let him be the judge."

I felt my heart stutter at my own suggestion, at knowing someone would see how pathetic I had been, how pathetic I still was, how I had been tricked first by James, and then Jevin. How I had lost everything. How destroyed by my own memories, my own emotions I was, how weak I was. But it was the best option I had. I had to form a plan before I left. I was sure Jevin must be looking for me, scouring the city for his pedigree pet. I knew I needed a solid course of action before I returned to the city.

Deep down I wanted to run from the place I had been imprisoned in, to get as far away as I could, but I knew that I needed somewhere to stay, just for a day or two, just until I had a plan of how to destroy Jevin for all he had done to me. It was a small grace that Syn couldn't tell my secrets at least, that at least only one other person in this world would know the disaster that had become of my life. I now knew what Chi had meant when she said he didn't talk - he couldn't. I could feel the loss of speech in his mind like warm rain, falling over every part of his psyche.