Grey II - Ghosts

Chapter 18 - The Rooftop

Oh, young cardinals, take flight.
Return to nest in the dark of night.
There were things you were not meant to know.

Alexisonfire - Young Cardinals

Working with Chimarah was surprisingly helpful, and it felt amazing to be able to train again, to fight again, even if I went easy on her when we weren't using her Gift. When she did use her Gift we didn't actually fight, instead I would simply try to sense her; her location, her movements. Occasionally she would throw a punch or kick at me, but I was rarely able to dodge them, even when I knew one was coming. I could sense she had moved, but I was always slightly off. She promised to continue working with me, a little smile on her face. I knew she was excited to be able to beat a Half, even if it was in a cheap way, without my Shift.

It felt strange not using my Shift in training, not even pulling from it, but I supposed it would help me in the long run, and I didn't need the extra power against Chi. She hadn't lied when she said fighting wasn't a strength of hers. Since my beginning had been with a Clan so powerful, so apt at killing, it seemed almost comical how far Chi was from them. This Clan was stealth, not strength, behind the scenes, not the front line, and they seemed content that way. Even the twins, who seemed the violent type, didn't seem to mind their passive existence.

There were many times during my and Chi's sparring that I would catch myself smiling, a cold smile, one of violent enjoyment, but then I would notice her face, set in concentration, the edge of fear always in her eyes. I wondered if that was how Gabriel felt when he had trained with me, at least in the beginning, constantly having to remind himself to go easy, to not try, to go slow and leave openings for me every once in a while so I'd learn when to take them. It was strange, and fueled my need to hunt at night even more, my desire for blood being stoked with each lessen I would try to teach Chi, with each blow I wouldn't deal, each punch I pulled.

Within four hours I could tell she was tired and wanted to stop, and though I had only wet my appetite, I pretended to be winded. Syn had been watching the entire time, intense interest in his wide, gold-flecked eyes. Horn and Halo had watched too, though they feigned much less interest than their brother. Spade had pretended to read, but never turned a single page. He had to heal Chi three times, when I forgot how green she was and used a little too much skill, a little too much speed, in an attack I had erroneously thought she would dodge or counter. Spade gave me a look like I'd punched a kitten with each heal he gave her. Chi didn't seem to mind her injuries as much as her caretaker though, which made me feel slightly less guilty as he mended her shattered bones for the third time. I had to keep reminding myself that she wasn't a child, not completely at least, that I wasn't abusing a helpless kid but sparring with the leader of a Clan, helping her learn so she wouldn't die early. That helped ease my mind.

After our sparring session, I decided to try to mimic what my days used to consist of with the Clan, at least as much as I could. I didn't want to stop learning, to stop growing, and though it made my stomach roll just to think of the time I had spent with Kael in training, I knew I should keep it up. Maybe I could teach Chimarah and her brothers too, but I would let them choose that.

I went to my cot and sat, closing my eyes and trying to focus on my Sign, on feeling it and learning it more. I practiced making the little shelves of packed air to lift things, practiced my control of how to turn them or make them move in the ways I wanted. I had never been great at geometry and that didn't seem to have changed much in the past months. I often found my angles were off. I tried to think of other ways I could use my Sign, use the air around me, but I was woefully uncreative.

It was relaxing but exhausting. It made my mind sore but gave me a feeling of accomplishment as well. I didn't need a teacher, I had enough knowledge to teach myself, to practice things on my own. I had a smug smile on my face as I thought of a life alone, a life independent of others, not relying on anyone, not needing anyone. I told myself Chi would be the last person I'd ever need anything from, that I would survive and even thrive on my own, but I knew that was just a fantasy for now. The warehouse was a safe base and I liked the seclusion from the city. Two things I needed.