Grey II - Ghosts

Chapter 29 - Abby's Wisdom

You speak with silver, but you leave an ugly stain on all you touch, on everything you say.

Adestria - The Odyssey

I groaned inwardly as I saw with dismay that I still had Prey and Parish to go to before I could collapse in my room. I wasn't tired, not sleepy at least, but I was worn out. My headache was worse than ever, my body felt shaky and weak. My Shift felt as though it had shredded whatever part of me it resided in, and my mood was so dark I wouldn't have been surprised if I killed Parish or his brother half on purpose during our session. I hoped beyond hope that Ailech wouldn't try to pick a fight with me, wouldn't try to anger me as we walked to the gym. I didn't like the feeling of not trusting myself, but I didn't right then.

Ember was waiting outside the gym's doors and I had to try to soften the glower from my face as we approached. It wasn't for her, it wasn't for anyone really.

"H-how did it go?"

She stammered as she spoke, and I almost couldn't tell her question had been directed at me, since she kept her eyes on the ground.

"Lovely."

My voice sounded about as dark as I felt, and I saw her neck begin to flush.

"You missed seeing the great Mask whimper on the floor like a puppy. It was priceless."

I wanted to cave Ailech's head into the pillar next to him as he spoke, but even his ridicule sounded half-hearted. He hadn't enjoyed Cordelia's lesson anymore than I had. After the third trial I had woken to find him by my side, my hand in his. He said he was checking my pulse, but his eyes had still held a shadow of concern in them, even though he knew I was fine and finished with the lesson.

"Um, Abby wants to see you. The brother's can't meet tonight anyway. He said they're 'grounded for a stunt they pulled'."

Ember's voice was hard to hear as she still refused to pull her face up from staring at my shoes, but I breathed a sigh of relief that I didn't have to train anymore that day. The brother's would have demolished me anyway, with how weak I felt. Unless I ignored the rules and Shifted, I doubted I could have blocked even half of their hits in my current state. Ailech would have had a lot of my bruises to train Ember with if Prey and Parish's mischief hadn't been so well-timed. I turned towards Abby's office without acknowledging Ember's message, too fed up to even feign good manners. Ailech stayed back with Ember, apparently not feeling the need to join me.

Abby's office was warm, as usual, a fire roaring beneath the mantle across from his large desk. He had tried to bring up 'Mr. Darke' as usual, and I had shut him down as usual, and then there was silence, as usual. This was one of the rare meetings in which Ailech wasn't with me though and I didn't want to waste the opportunity to ask about him, along with some other subjects in which I felt deserving of answers.

"You could have at least told me what you meant by 'tolerance'."

My voice sounded more sour than I had meant, but my feelings were still fresh. I didn't dislike Cordelia like I did Grayson, but I certainly didn't have fond feelings for her either. She scared me, and I hated to admit that.

"Would you have gone if I had told you what I meant?"

"Yes, and thank you for the vouch of my bravery."

Abby watched me with his watery, pale blue eyes as if I hadn't spoken for a moment, ignoring my sarcastic tone as well.

"Telling someone they're being sent to a torture session and having them prance there is more a vouch for lunacy than bravery, dear child."