How Not To Fall In Love

     “Horrible Kids, would you look what you did?  It was your ignorance that formed a beast with your wit.”

                                                                                 —Horrible Kids, Set It Off

     One

     Seventh grade was a year of firsts.  It was the year of my first crush—Quinton Swales, who every girl was smitten over at the time.  The middle school dance was only a few days away, and rumor had it that Quinton was without a date.  So unlike the rest of my classmates, who hid behind their Junie B. Jones books, secretly hoping for their prince to sweep them off their feet, I was a woman of action. 

     For starters, I had stolen my sister’s dress.  She was only a couple of years older than me, and since I had my growth spurt sooner than some of the other girls, the dress fit me nicely.  On top of that, I had borrowed my mother’s make-up.  I probably had brushed on a bit too much blush, but considering my usual attire consisted of track pants and hoodies, I’m sure anything would be a vast improvement.  And if neither one of those worked, I had snatched a twenty out of my dad’s wallet, so that even if Quinton did reject me, I might sway him otherwise with a small monetary incentive.

     But none of those things would help me against my biggest obstacle—Paisley Williams. 

     Paisley had a thing for competition, much like I did.  And similarly, she was also a person of action.  So when Paisley arrived at school, hair curled into perfect little ringlets, and pink dress pressed to perfection, I was well aware that getting to Quinton would not be as easy as I had originally hoped. 

     My friend, Sam, who was helping me smooth out the wrinkles on my dress, curled her lips in disgust.  “The wicked witch of the west is here.”

     I straightened up as she walked over towards me. 

     “Alexa, you look nice.”  She said in that sickeningly sweet voice of hers.  She was talented at letting her eyes reveal what she really meant.  “That chalk on your cheeks really brings out the crust in your eyes.”

     Wicked witch didn’t even begin to cover how wretched she really was.

     I smile back with tight lips.  “It’s actually blush, but thanks.  You look nice too.  I mean, you can barely see that man-stache today.”

     She narrowed her eyes, attempting to maintain composure.  I couldn’t really blame her for hating me so much.  Anyone would start to get upset when they continuously lost to the same person every time.  At this point the year it was well known that whatever Paisley did, I would always do it just a little better.  I had never lost.  And I wasn’t about to start.

     “I guess you’re going to ask out Quinton, huh?”  I asked, and Paisley’s glare melted into a knowing smirk.

     “Oh, don’t tell me you’re going after him too?  You should know, he doesn’t like boys.” 

     I roll my eyes.  “So, how are we going to do this?  We both ask him out and see who he picks?”

     Even though I usually dressed down, I was pretty confident in my looks. Unlike Paisley who had been wearing makeup since she came out the womb, I had been told I had a more natural charm.  So any extra effort would probably be an added enhancement. 

     She yawns.  “That’s a little boring.  How about a bet?”

     Like usual, things had to be interesting.  I motioned for her to continue.