A Heart That Can Only Break So Many Times

Intro: 4 years earlier

Tears are coming into my eyes and I can't look at him any longer. He shuffles closer and takes my chin between his index finger and thumb, so I have no other choice than to look at him. I'm looking at his ear, everything to avoid looking him into the eyes. What is there to say? I can't get the image of him and Jenny out of my mind. I can't believe that only hours ago, I said yes. I wanted to marry him.

'Blair, look at me, please. I'm so sorry.'

'How could you,' I manage to say. Where are all these tears coming from? They keep on flowing. It hurts so much. Breathe. Help, I can't. In. Out. In. Out.

I take a step back. 'Get him away from me. Please. Someone, get him away from me. I don't want to see him ever again,' I yell from the top of my lungs. In the corner of my eye, I see Dan walking to Chuck.

'That would be my pleasure. Chuck, it's time for you to leave. Come with me.' I see him grabbing Chuck's arm and he's trying to pull Chuck with him. Chuck keeps standing still. It's like he wants to say something, but he closes his mouth again. I turn away, away from him. A couple seconds later, I hear two couple of footsteps fading.

I can't believe I fell for it again. Every time I look into his eyes, I seem to forget my own name even. How weak can I be?

I jump. Two arms are embracing me. It's Serena, I can smell it from that too sweet perfume of hers. What is she doing here? I don't want her to witness my mental breakdown. I can't seem to find the words, though. I'm succumbing to the exhaustion. I don't care care anymore. I have to go away from here. 'Can you take me somewhere?' I whisper to her.

'Where do you want to go?' Serena asks softly. She tries to turn me around, but I can't fully face her. I know I look like sh*t and I'm embarrased.

What is so tight on my finger? Oh, sh*t, it's that stupid ring. Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t. It needs to get off. F*ck, why is it so tight? It doesn't get off. Now I have to walk with this ugly *ss diamond for the rest of my life. That's my punishment. I shouldn't have been so weak. Let everyone see how stupid I am. The fact is, Chuck will never ever change. I still fall for it, for him, every single time. Why?

Ah, yes. The ring slides of my finger. I slam the ring on the ground.

'It doesn't matter, as long as it is as far from here as possible,' is my answer to Serena's question. I turn around and with big steps, I start walking. Serena's footsteps are following me.

This is definitely the worst night of my entire life. No way will I ever fall for any of Chuck's games ever again. One thing is certain: I have to leave and go far away from the Upper East Side.