Chap. 63 • "Secretive"

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Trimester 2
Month 4, Week 2
Guys, it's a new trimester! She's pulling through 😩
Aya Weathers

"Remember, Karilyn. No matter how many times I ask you, do not tell me the gender. And don't tell Tory, he can't keep secrets for shit." I emphasized. I want to have a mini baby shower and gender reveal all in one just so I can celebrate once. My family members, people I trust, and close friends will be invited.

"I swear I won't. I'm so excited for you. As soon as I find out the gender, I'm getting to planning. No time to waste." She grabbed my hand and I smiled.

"Alright, you guys ready?" Dr. Davis asked me as she pulled on her gloves. Karilyn and I glanced at each other before nodding. She pulled up my shirt halfway, exposing my four month belly that was definitely getting hard to hide.

She squeezed the cold jelly on my stomach, which always causes me to flinch no matter how many times I go through it. She stuck the needle into my stomach, making me cringe my fists. I hate needles.

"Alright, turn the music on, Aya." Karilyn told me. I sighed deeply and put my Airpods in, putting my music on full blast. I'm refraining from playing any of Chris's music during this pregnancy because I'll start having anxiety attacks, which I don't need.

I watched as the two of them conversed. A large smile formed along Karilyn's face and it seemed as if she was mouthing the words "I knew it". Of course, I don't know what she knew because she never told me what she thought I was having.

Her smile quickly faded, and her eyebrows began to furrow. She shook her head and began saying something with a slight frown on her face. My heart rate began to pick up at the sudden change in mood. I glanced at my doctor, who seemed to be trying to reassure her of something. Karilyn nodded and then they both looked at me. I turned off my music and took my Airpods out.

"What's wrong?" I asked nervously.

"Aya, I thought we had this conversation about you stressing out so much. You really need to take it easy before this gets really dangerous. Your baby's heart rate dropped even lower from the last time you came in." She said in a disappointed tone.

"We gotta get your mind off that man somehow." Karilyn shook her head and stared at the ground.

"What can happen if I don't stop stressing?"

"Your baby can come prematurely, or when he or she is born, they can be born at a critical weight. It can lead to later health problems with your child, such as ADHD. Or even worse, you can miscarry. It's not too common, but it's not so rare either."

All of this shit sounds horrible. I've been trying to get myself to stop, but it's so hard. I keep getting into my own head, there are little bits and pieces that remind me of him. I always get the urge to want to talk to him. I still see him down my timeline, no matter how many fan pages I unfollow. He's everywhere.

"But I don't want you to stress about stressing too much. I'm going to recommend some pregnancy yoga classes and therapy sessions. I know this one therapist, he's great for situations like this. Here," She got up and looked through a card holder, handing me a business card. The name said Dr. James Parker in a pretty cursive font.

"I recommend calling in and making an appointment as soon as possible, hopefully he'll be able to fill you in at an early date. Here's the brochure for the yoga classes. They aren't too expensive, I'm sure they'll fit in your budget." She handed me a brochure.

"Ooh, you're gonna be like one of those white ladies that drink celery juice and shit." Karilyn joked, causing me to side eye her with a chuckle. Well, we're all black women here.

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