That Time When Alton More Became A Thief

(credit to @whatahelluvatodie for the nice gif!)

"I guess they were Hitler's photo albums, sir. Sure had a lot of pictures of him in it."

Alton More can't believe his ears, honestly. He's being accused for what reason, exactly? He's being accused of stealing by a proper thief. The one and only king of thieves. That's hilarious, really. Silver Stealer, is what the boys had started to call Ronald Speirs, after he'd been seen exiting citizens' houses with arms full of silver.

And he is the thief?

"So you looked at them but didn't take them?" urges Speirs, his eyes piercing Alton like a blade.

"That's right, sir," Alton sighs, hoping this third degree would end soon. He's had enough, and he has a game to attend.

"I don't believe you," Speirs almost yells. Honestly, what does Speirs want from him? Like, what if he did take fucking Hitler's photo albums? The man shot himself in the head, surely he doesn't need them anymore.

If Speirs wants them for himself, hell, finders keepers.

With the corner of his eye, Alton sees someone approaching the door and when he turns to them he sees Talbert, a little bit taken aback: who knows what his friend could be thinking now, entering Speirs' office and seeing him fuming, while Alton is pretty damn calm.

His comrades always envy his nonchalance, often tell him he's a calming presence in that loud bunch that is Easy Company. He's never felt like contradicting them, he likes that reputation.

After some awkward exchanges, Speirs turns his look to him.

"I'll be watching you," he says, his tone severe. Alton was always up to some mischief when he was a child, but not even his old teachers at school dared saying 'I'll be watching you', as if he was some kind of delinquent. "You're dismissed."

About time, Alton thinks while saluting his captain. He turns quickly, glad that that little dramatic scene of Speirs yelling at him for stupid Nazi photo albums is finally over. Dramatic, indeed. With all the things they've been going through this past year, one could think that would be enough drama by then.

"You better not be lying to me," Alton hears from behind.

He smirks, because it's all he can do.

***

"So?" asks Luz once Alton reaches him, Malarkey and Martin outside. "What did he want?"

Alton shrugs, lighting himself a cigarette. "He wanted to know if I took the photo albums we found at Eagle's Nest. The bastard, all he does is stealing from civilians but as soon as he hears one of us taking something more valuable he goes all angry about it."

Luz scoffs. "Somebody needs to tell our captain that out of all the men in Easy, he's the one who could build an entire town with all the things he's taken since we got here," he says, taking the lighter from Alton's hand and using it on his own cigarette. "He thinks himself as a kind of Robin Hood or something."

"Why would he believe you stole those albums, anyway?" Johnny comments, a little bit indignant.

Awkward silence.

Alton having everybody's eyes on him.

"Probably because he did," Donald breaks the silence, shaking his head. When it's clear that nobody had seen that coming, he just shrugs. "What? I was there, I saw."

Alton smiles at his shocked friends, wondering why they're being so surprised. It's not like he stole the entire Eagle's Nest library, he just put a couple of personal Hitler's albums under his uniform and left.

"I'm not believing you're this savage," Luz tells, clapping his hands like he just heard the funniest joke ever. "What are you going to do with the man's pictures, anyway? I bet they'd be great in winter instead of the firewood, keep y'all warm."

A loud laugh echoes in the yard, making some people who are passing by startle. The boys start walking down the street and towards the baseball field; some of them organised a game to welcome Buck Compton back and couldn't stop talking about it since the day before.

"Yeah, Luz, looks like a nice bonfire would fit his preferences."

"Oi, rude," Donald says. "True, though."

Johnny whistles. "Honestly the only thought of having a small piece of that Nazi ass in my house, is beyond my understanding."

"Guys," Alton stops them, dropping the cigarette butt behind him, "I'm not going to either burn or sell those pictures, okay? I took them to keep them as a souvenir of the most hated man in the whole world. End of story."

"Nice," Luz adds.

"Aye, come back to me in ten years and tell me you didn't sell them for hundreds of dollars, dude!" Donald insists, kicking his friend's leg and almost having him tripping on the ground. "Oops, sorry."

Well, we'll see about that, thinks Alton, shaking his head at his chaotic friends. They're almost there when Alton suddenly starts running leaving them behind. "Last one to the field will use Perconte's toothbrush for a week!"

As they all were racing like total idiots, Alton More can't help but think that maybe yes, maybe he will get rid of those albums someday, somehow, but for now they're safe and sound in his current home.

But he doesn't tell them that, they don't need to know. And Speirs doesn't need to be informed about that, either.

What they also don't need to know, is that he's planning on becoming a thief once again, since he has heard some guy from Division came to Austria with a handful of old pictures of Toccoa men.

That is going to be a really great souvenir. 

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I don't know if this has been done before, but the other day the idea struck me so randomly and unexpectedly that I had to do something about it! As always, thanks to my other brain cell Angelica_writes_ aka @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant for cleaning this up from grammar impurities. And credit to her for the lovely cover! Ily ♥

Given my last fic being a little (too much) angst, I decided to add some light with my favourites comedians. It's nonsense, but I hope you enjoy!