When Liv faced a loss that would rewrite her entire life, she stepped away from her work. A year and a half later, she returns to the BAU in search of normalcy; so she can finally move on. On a new team, Liv is immediately thrown into the game of ca...
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✺✺✺ The case was wrapped up faster than expected. It was rare they only had one victim, practically never did that happen. This time, the very body that had brought them to Georgetown, was the only one to count for by the end of it. They were able to save the other victim.
For that, Liv was exceedingly grateful. This job was far too heavy to not be intentional about counting the victories, and finding the silver linings. By the time they had gotten everything squared away, it was the middle of the night, and it was a lucky thing that Georgetown was not far from the BAU or else they would've had to find a hotel. Instead, they all piled into their black SUV's and started the drive back.
Liv, by unlucky odds, was in her head. She stared out the window of the car, everything passing as a dark blur with random flashes of street lights. She had tried to keep her mind from doing so. Multiple attempts had rendered it useless, and therefore, she allowed herself to dwell.
Tangled in the clutches of her fingers, was her battered broken necklace, the precious thing she had found just before being swept into the whirlwind of the case. She held it tightly in the pocket of her jacket, not taking it out for fear of losing it again. She hadn't had a moment since the case started to fully feel her relief, and everything else that came with it.
She had ended the day unhappy. Inadequacy settled uncomfortably on her shoulders. Whether or not it was her fault, she hadn't done her job, and Liv was never good at coping with the feeling of being less than. Given the nature of the situation, it caused rage to boil inside her. And once she gave herself a moment to feel that, she realized all the anxiety that was hidden beneath it. Rage was just her blanket of disguise.
She was anxious that she was failing; failing to be enough like she had promised she would be for her late husband. She wanted to exceed at her job. She wanted to exceed at finding happiness. And only until recently, she saw the good things that could come out of moving on. Something in Hotch's tone that case had snatched it away from her. He had made her feel mediocre at her passion, and as if he was indifferent towards her.
It made her unbelievably insecure, and at the realization that, Liv had no choice but to switch back to rage. She was angry she ever allowed someone to make her feel that way.
Derek did not press her on the ride back, and she was thankful for it, because the only words she was able to speak then were choice words reserved for only one person, and until she could do that, she would remain silent. She appreciated how he read the room, and kept his playful and poking comments to himself, or just between him and Reid, who was in the backseat.
By the time they got back, most of the team was rushing to get home to their own beds. Liv, however, was not in such a hurry. She wasted little time before starting towards Hotch's office.
