Virgin Lips

That's very McGonagall

JOANNA

Biting on my lip, I stared at my phone. I didn't want to think about what was going to happen, because it would make me ultra-nervous, so I thought I'd text Ben, to see if he was okay. He was weird earlier. We haven't known each other long, but I am pretty sure he would have done anything to be the one driving me to this date/non-date. It was his idea after all. 

Instead, he dismissed me with a generic excuse. It's true that being a photographer means having to up and leave at the weirdest times, but ever since that kiss, he's been acting strange. Even I can see it. I mean, if I, obliviousness personified, can see there's something fishy about his attitude, you realize how clear it is.

"You ok?" Valerie asked, taking me off guard.

I turned to look at her for a moment. "Yeah."

"Nervous?" She inquired, taking her eyes off the road to look at me.

I nodded. How couldn't I be. Sighing, I locked my phone, and pocketed it. Why did I agree to all this. It's not going to end well. Jeremy probably remembers the wrong person, someone more interesting he would have wanted to keep in touch with, another Joanna, who knows. People tend to romanticize memories, make them better than they actually are, maybe this is the case.

"It's gonna be ok."

No offense, Valerie, but that doesn't help me. I just nodded, though. She only wanted to be nice. This would be my first date. Technically I did go on a date a few years ago, with a guy I met online, but it didn't go further than that. If one counts dating apps, technically I have "dated", even if not in the proper sense. Back to when I used those apps, I usually would get messages from different guys, then focus on one for a couple of weeks, until it died down. Probably my fault. I mean, a guy only can wait so much before meeting, if you stubbornly refuse, of course they'll move on to the next one.

"We're here."

My eyes bulged out. "Already?" I blurted out, my heart picking up a faster pace.

"Yeah." She chuckled, then turned to me. I hadn't even noticed she'd parked already. "Look, Joanna, we don't really know each other yet, but, I think I know you, I was you. I was just as shy." Here we go again. Is it a thing where Ben and Valerie come from? Like, a town tradition, breaking boundaries and reading people. "It'll sound cliché, but believe me, it will be okay. Whether it works out or not, it's still experience."

I nodded, not knowing what else to say, other than: "Thank you." I gripped the handle, trying to convince my heart to be still. "The dress, uh ..."

"Oh, it's yours!" Valerie exclaimed with a big grin.

"No, I meant ..." I blushed therefore lowered my gaze to my lap, "do you think it's ... maybe it's too much? It's early afternoon, and we're going to a bookstore ..."

"It's perfect, believe me. And you look beautiful! Ben thought the same."

I looked up, surprised. "He did?"

Her grin widened. "He didn't know what to say, you saw him."

He looked pretty cold to me, as if he didn't even want to look at me. And I couldn't blame him, after that kiss, I would feel awkward, too – I did feel awkward. If there's one thing I've never learned how to do, that's read people. Of course, being taciturn means you observe a lot, but I don't understand my fellow humans, not in the slightest, so I will never, for the life of me, figure out why what happened between me and Ben, happened.

"Good luck." Valerie said, gesturing for me to get off the car. I nodded, and opened the door, but before I could step out, she stopped me: "Oh! Wait!" She scribbled something on the back of a half torn receipt from a bakery, then handed it over to me. "In case you need to be rescued." She winked.