Part 40 - Recall

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**This scene contains descriptions of sexual assault and rape**

Three weeks crawled by, each much the same as the one before, the following promising to fulfil the perpetual routine. Monday, Wednesday and Friday followed an unwavering format; an 11am therapy appointment, lunch, consultant recommended physical therapy, a gridlocked drive down the freeway to the apartment, followed by an uncomfortable dance of avoidance inside the shared space. If one was showering, the other prepared food. Jase rarely commandeered the living area despite the TV he'd brought being there unless I had retreated to my room, which was mostly what I did. It was gradually becoming easier to be around him, but my hatred burned the same.

Tuesday afternoon was reserved for Jack. What was meant to be a quick meeting to "touch base" dragged on for a couple of hours. He seemed to love the sound of his voice, and created excuses to "double check" things and "confirm" others just so he could re-explain whatever he'd already gone over several times. I'd only seen Lorres directly once since our first meeting, she smiled very sweetly and asked if I was finding Jack ok as a liaison. She mentioned nothing about Jase, and after all this time I didn't see the point in bringing it up again. I'd realised it was hardly going to be a permanent feature, whatever threat they deemed possible would be reassessed at some point and they'd redistribute Jase elsewhere, safely away from me.

There was no word on Ant's promised return aside from Jase announcing over a week prior that he "wasn't going to be able to come back just yet". I was hardly surprised. Why would he come back, after all? Everybody had lives, families and friends. It felt like only I stood alone and isolated, but my strong-willed determination was slowly returning and I was resolved to combat my own negative thoughts.

I was starting to feel and look more like a regular human being. I'd put on a vital ten pounds, and needed to gain probably another four before I was nearly back to normal. The gentle physical therapy meant I finally felt able to exercise as long as I didn't over exert myself, so I'd started gentle jogs alongside Jase and careful weight training with light dumbbells in my room to rebuild strength. The most important thing to me was that I was cleared by the consultant to start work, so Jack had arranged a part time clerical position on base in Coronado. I was due to start in the descriptively named Building 91 in two days, and I even though nerves rattled in my stomach, I couldn't wait.

Life had crawled by, gloriously uneventful for so long that it was beginning to make me feel anxious. I'd stopped waiting for someone to jump around every corner and assassinate me, but the more my nervous system rested the louder my thoughts became. The supplements were doing a wonderful job of restoring energy and regular function to my body, but without the cloak of absolute exhaustion at the end of every day coaxing me to sleep, I tossed and turned and nightmares began to intrude.

Sometimes al-Raheem stood over me, my own muffled voice crying in the darkness. He did nothing, just stood there, his mere presence enough of a threat to ordain the dream a nightmare. Other times it was Jase, sitting at a dinner table across from me, the pair of us looking quite civilised. But my ankles were bound to a chair fixed in concrete, and I flailed around to get free as he smirked, refusing to help. The worst ones were of Jas in the concrete chamber. A sudden ignition of flames sprouted on her fingertips as she lay on her side, she shrieked and desperately tried to put it out. I searched frantically around the basement for a blanket or something to smother the embers, eventually taking off my clothes and shrouding her arm in the fabric. But it was no use, the fire burned more than ever and climbed higher, consuming her body bit by bit. Only her face remained unengulfed, and she stared at me in horror as the flames slowly ate her flesh. Then someone came in- that man, and extinguished the blaze. Jas's body was crimson raw and blistering, muscles exposed. The man pulled up his robe and shoved himself in her mouth, pumping back and forth into her throat and seizing me by the back of my hair to bring me to my knees next to Jas. I was next. 'Smile for camera'. My jaws were prized open and I let out a blood curdling shriek of-

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