Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
PHOEBE SAT AT her piano, working on her song. She hadn't gotten a chance to sit and write for a week. She had too much homework and rehearsal during the week, and on the weekend she had to help her mother move. She'd been thinking back to her conversation with Nini as she stared at the few lyrics on her, otherwise blank, page.
Phoebe sighed and let her fingers dance over the keys, creating a small melody that she liked. She begun humming along with it, and soon her hums turned into words. She wrote down the first line, 'we broke up a month ago', and everything poured out after.
Half an hour later, Phoebe set her notebook on the music stand and began playing. "We broke up a month ago, our 'friends' aren't mine. You know, I know you've moved on, found someone new, one more girl who brings out the better in you." She glanced back up at the lyrics. "And I'm trying to detach my heart from all the sunlight of our past. But she's so sweet, she's so pretty, does she mean you forgot about me?"
No matter how hard Phoebe tried to convince herself that she didn't love EJ anymore or that she hated him, she could never not love EJ. She loved him with her entire being, and she wanted him to be happy. "Oh, I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me." She knew it was selfish of her, to want him to be happy just not like how he was with her. "I'm selfish I know, I can't you go. So find someone great but don't find no one better. I hope you're happy but don't be happier."
She paused, stopping the music for a second before continuing. "Do you tell her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen? And promise three words you know you'll never mean? Remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me? Well now I'm picking her apart, like cutting her down will make you miss my wretched heart."
Phoebe had tried so many times to find something wrong with Nini, to find a reason to hate her, to blame her. But she couldn't. Nini hadn't done anything wrong to Phoebe. "But she's beautiful, she looks kind, she probably gives you butterflies. I hope you're happy, but not like how you were with me. I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go, so find someone great but don't find no one better."
Phoebe's voice cracked as tears slowly began rolling down her cheeks. "I hope you're happy. I wish you all the best, really. Say you love her, baby, just not like you loved me, and think of me fondly when your lips on her's. I hope your happy, but don't be happier."
She let her fingers dance over the keys, sparing another look at her notebook. "I hope you're happy, just not like how you were with me. I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go. So find someone great but don't find no one better, I hope you're happy but don't be happier. . ."
Phoebe sat there, silently crying. She could feel everything slipping from her control. A lot of things had changed for her in a month, her and EJ breaking up, seeing EJ with Nini, joining a musical, getting told her parents were divorcing, her mom moving out. It was all out of her control.
Phoebe locked herself in the bathroom and ignored her brothers pleas to get out so he could go pee. She had somehow managed to calm herself down and stood in front of the mirror. Her hands shook as she looked through the cabinet to find her dad's hair kit. Of course, the only thing that felt in her control was her hair. Her hair was long, reaching a bit below her lower back. Once she found the scissors, she gripped a chunk of her hair and cut it.
Phoebe gasped as she watched the hair fall, realizing just how short she cut it. Phoebe knew that the damage had been already done and there was no turning back now, so she kept cutting different chunks. By the time she was done, her hair was different lengths but mainly reached just above her shoulders.
She set the scissors down and stared at herself in the mirror. "Okay. . ." she spoke, trying to calm herself down. "Okay. . . it doesn't look horrible, right?"
"Phoebe I swear to God!" Jack exclaimed, snapping her out of it. "If you don't let me in, I'm going to pee on your bed!"
"You're disgusting!" Phoebe called out, eyes flickering down to the hair on the floor. "Go get me the broom and dustpan."
"Get it yourself," he retorted. Phoebe knew her brother well enough to know that he was crossing his arms and smirking cockily. She sighed and rolled her eyes, opening the bathroom door. Jack's face twisted into one of visible shock for a second before he pursed his lips. "You're going to get in so much trouble, and you're still gonna be ugly."
Phoebe mocked him. "Shut up. Your Will Byers haircut growing out is literally the only thing saving you, so I wouldn't be talking."
Phoebe walked away from him to go downstairs. She was going to talk to her dad after she cleaned up the hair, but when she turned into the dining room to go into the kitchen, her dad was sitting down with a plate of leftover chicken alfredo. Hearing her, he looked up and his eyes widened. "Hi, dad," Phoebe shot him a small, hopeful smile.
James stammered before finally being able to speak. "What did you do? You're mom is going to kill you and then she's going to kill me!"
"Okay," Phoebe slid into a chair, trying to be calm. "Okay, well, mom can't do anything, technically. I mean, it's not like I can glue the hair back into my head."
"I just - I'm confused as to why?" James admitted, not being able to tear his eyes away from his daughter's new haircut.
"Everything around me is changing right now," Phoebe explained. "This was the only thing I had control over. I'm sorry. Does it look bad?"
"It's okay, Bee," James assured her, though clearly he was still freaking out a bit. "It's just hair and I know that everything is a lot right now. It doesn't look horrible, but I'm taking you in tomorrow to get it fixed. Is this what you want? I could get you a wig off of Amazon or something-"
"Dad," Phoebe cut him off, shaking her head. "I'm sure. Um. . . can I dye it also?"
James paused for a moment. "I'm already dead, so why not?"
Phoebe grinned and lunged forward, bringing James into a hug. He chuckled for a moment and wrapped his arms around her, patting her back.
𝒎𝒆𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒍 !! this is a really short filler chapter but james is fixing my daddy issues, so happy late father's day to him <3
