17 : The kiss

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I slowly watched him as he relaxed taking my words in, soon a smile spread onto his face and I felt relaxed as well. "Same goes for you, you don't have to over work yourself especially during exams period, those anxiety attacks are not good for you, don't stress out just do what makes you happy" I stared back as his sparkling eyes, it was like everything around us faded away.

I decide to follow his advice and do what makes me happy, I removed my hands from Jungwoo's and placing them on his shoulders , he must have similar thoughts as on of his hands found itself on my waist while the other one went tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

It was clear that we were both stuck in a trance as Jungwoo's hand lingered on the base of my chin, holding my face in his hand. I slowly stepped forward closing the space between us and all I could think was : 'do what you feel is right don't overthink it and ruin it' as my focus shifted down to his lips and I could tell that he had done the same, slowly pulling me closer to him.

I could tell sparks were flying between us as our noses brushed, both of us breathing slowly, I closed my eyes as steadied myself and held onto his shoulders. Soon I felt Jungwoo's lips against mine as we finally connected through a kiss I didn't know I wanted.

We kept kissing as we both ran out of air and pulled away to take a breath, as soon as we pulled out someone entered the room, and this someone is starting to have this as a habit, always catching us in the worst moments, I don't need to say it you already know who it is.

TEN.

"oh I didn't know you were here" I just glad he didn't see us kissing "I was searching for my note book then I remembered I forgot it here. Oh and by the way y/n, I believe Jaehyun was searching for you, I guess it's something important..." he said as he opened the door for me to pass. I didn't have a choice, I left to find that bothering unbothered boi to see what on earth did he needed me for, leaving Jungwoo without figuring out what the hell just happened.

"what do you want Jaehyun?" I asked not meaning it in a rude annoyed way, but I couldn't help it. "Mom and dad were trying to reach you, they called you a lot but you didn't answer so can you please call them?" I nodded and went to my room to call them. Since I'm really close with my parents and especially my mom we talked for quite some time so I ended up falling asleep while I was still on a call with her.

Next day I woke up a bit late and noticed that all the 127 members had already left so I called Taeyong to ask him why didn't they wake me up since they know I was going he said that they had to leave earlier and they didn't want to drag me early with them and it was convenient since Shotaro and Sungchan are coming along today to trainee day so I would go with them.

Once we arrived at SM me and Sungchan went to find Jungwoo -he chose to be with Jungwoo since the two of them are close- and Shotaro went to find Yuta -Japanese brother bond lol. We met up with our 'team' and went to the studio. I couldn't exactly talk to Jungwoo or ever dare to look him in the eye especially that we weren't alone and that Jinyoug didn't leave his side for even a second.

I didn't really have much to do today since it was all vocals and stuff, Jungwoo and Jiyoung were practicing together since they're both vocalist and I was sitting with Sungchan trying to rap as fast as he can, "aaaa Sungchan-aa how do you do this?!" he just laughed and showed me again, I was really enjoying my time with him, he's just like Jisung, cute little baby and I couldn't help but baby him.

We decided to take a break and eat, so myself and Sungchan left the studio before the other two to get the food while they finish their last verse. I wanted to see where our delivery was then I realized I forgot my phone in the recording room.

I left to go get my phone, once I was there I didn't knock since few minutes ago I was there and I really wish I did, I didn't expect one bit what I just saw, I didn't know how to feel the only thing I could think of is 'run, get out'.

I ran, ran and ran till I was out of SM and out of breath in front of the dorms, I could barely breath, I didn't know for how much I ran and I didn't realize that some tears ran too until I stopped in front of the door and felt my face. I had no key no phone no nothing so I had no choice but to ring and hope someone is here and hope no questions will be asked, I don't even know what happened, why did I react like this...

I rang the door, Renjun opened all excited "oh you came early, why don't you join-" but he must've noticed "hey hey, what's wrong? Are you hurt or what?" he held me close to him and hugged me tight, I could hear footsteps coming and I didn't want anyone to see me like this so I looked at Renjun he just nodded without me needing to say anything.

"is everything okay? Is that y/n? Is she-" but Renjun interrupted Chenlo "yeah she's fine she's just tired go back I'll be back later" and took me upstairs to his room, we kept silent for about 20 minutes unti;l he spoke "you know you can tell me anything, whatever it is, I mean it always has been like this even in high school. I won't pressure you but you have to talk about it to feel better" and at that moment I didn't think about anything else I just started to talk.

I told him everything about what just happened trying not to drop a tear and mixing stuff that happened between us and literally just a mess but I guess he got the idea, once I was done he said "you must really like him" I was flustered, I never thought about it like this so I denied it and kept on denying but he repeated stuff I said and made me realize. I like Jungwoo...

We kept on talking and surprisingly he wasn't weirded out about it, it's more like I'm the one who was weirded out. But that's not important, I might like him but he doesn't he likes another girl although at some point when I was telling Renjun about all the stuff he did I thought what if he likes me?

"now tell me the truth" started Renjun "the reason you're hurting right now it's not just because he kissed her right? It brought-" "yeah it brought up the memory but I don't want to talk about it" he just nodded.

"can I sleep here today?" I asked him not wanting to face Jungwoo, especially if he saw me running out. "of course, you can stay here as long as you want, maximum we'll kick Haechan out and make him sleep outside the door on the floor" well this made me laugh a bit.

A bit later I assured him I was okay and made him go continue what was he doing with the dreamies, a bit later I decide to move some of the stuff I'll be needing into their room so I don't have to see him, while I was moving my stuff Xiaojun came up and came straight up to me "hey... is everything okay? And why are you moving your stuff to Renchan's room?" I can't lie to Xiaojun, he's the only one that I can't lie to especially after he opened up to me and became really close.

I had placed my stuff and went to Xiao's room, after a bit I decided to to only tell him half of it, "well if you really want to know, a boy in Uni that I like kinda likes someone else and I saw them kissing" he stopped for a a second then asked "gay?" I laughed a bit "no no it was a girl" "well you didn't precise so that's why I thought" I know he didn't I mean it, should be like this, he must've done it to make me laugh...or not.

He looked at me for seconds then said "is it Jungwoo?" huh "h-how did you?" he smiled "well we weren't sure, but you just affirmed it lol" damn dumb y/n and then I realized what he said "we?! who's we?!" "oh me and Renjun" for a second I thought my heart was gonna stop but it didn't, yet, so I asked him how did they put that theory "well these last months we got really close and became best friends and since Renjun also was your bsf when you were in high school, do you really think we wouldn't notice"

He had a point but "well Haechan is my childhood bestie, Tae my cousin, Jae my brother and I'm pretty close with Lucas too so...?" but then he cleared it up by just asking "these past months who are the ones you've been emotionally close to? and who in general are the people you can anytime be emo with?" and I got my answer smiling at him. It was so obvious that deep stuff were always with Renjun and Xiao...

He then grabbed my hand and his guitar "this will make you feel better cmon" and led me to the roof we sometimes sat at to have some peace from the nut--ci-ty home, he started playing soft melodies while we were looking at the sunset which made me feel a bit better indeed, and that made a single tear run down my face, which didn't pass unseen by Xiaojun.

"it isn't just the Jungwoo thing right?" how can he know me that well? Am I that much of an open book? so I decide since Renjun know this why not tell him.

"well it brought up a memory... and not a good one, actually a really bad one, only Renjun knows about this so...

Guyss I started school and it's my last year so yeah it's gonna be a lot, so bare with me if the update became a bit slower


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