17. One last time

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__________ ~~ __________

I saw kai's body on the floor i rushed over and started to cry.

"no no please" i stated crying harder and isaac hugged me from behind

"i'm sorry sarah"

"this is my fault i should've stayed" i cried harder

"no it's not sarah it probably would've happened anyway"

"not helping isaac" i got up

"what are you doing"

"kill damon he's obviously the one who did it"

"sarah stop you aren't a killer"

"what am i supposed to do then?"

"you're gonna do the right thing like you always do" he smiled

"help them"

"exactly because we both know you wouldn't be able to kill him even if you tried to"

"yeah i know let's go"

"where?"

"the spell kai used on elena if i get the spell i can help them reverse it"

"see you're too good"

"what ever" i wiped my tears

__________ ~~ __________

The entire drive i was crying i couldn't help but feel it was my fault even if i had stayed, maybe if i hadn't have left and saw isaac i would have been with him he would've listened to me earlier.

"okay we're here i'll go get the spell just stay here" i shut the door and went up to the apartment

I walked in the bedroom and saw one of kai's shirts i picked it up and started to cry again.

"you good?" isaac said from behind me

"i thought i told you to stay outside"

"you did and i was going to then i realized this is gonna be hard for you"

"i'm fine" i started looking for the spell

"no you're not sar and it's fine you cared about him"

"i'm fine" i picked up the spell and held it up "got it let's go"

"wait you know we've known each other for a long time i know when you're lying and i know when you are sad"

"fine i cared about him and i just want to break down and kill damon is that what you want to hear?"

"i want you to let me in let me be there for you you used to tell me everything"

"and then i died and changed"

"but i'm here you can talk to me just let it out sar"

"i can't if i even begin to talk about it i'm going to break down and i'm afraid that i'll never be okay again"

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