Resist Temptation But Not You

Chapter I

Louis knows exactly three things for sure.

It's too bloody bright. And too early. And he hates Liam.

Not that Louis doesn't appreciate nature or something like that. There's birds greeting the sun with their overjoyed chirping. Sweet dew on the leaves. There's remnants of the cold night still hanging around in the air. The sky's painted pink and orange and purple with the subtle fire of the rising sun. It's all very lovely.

But Louis would have preferred to be in his oh so lovely, soft, heavenly bed at this very moment. Peacefully oblivious in sleep's welcoming arms. But no. The universe conspires against him in the strangest ways possible. The latest way is Liam's new fitness routine. And he has no idea why it requires him to come along. And participate.

Louis doesn't understand why he needs to run with Liam at six in the bloody fucking morning. Why are people even awake at this time? This should be declared a criminal offence punishable by law.

He pants as he tries to keep Liam in sight because keeping up with Liam is impossible. How does he run so damn fast? It's like he's got wind itself in his feet. He runs the way he lives. With passion and zest for life. Louis sometimes just stops and admires him.

He's tempted to stop now. Not to admire Liam though. He wants to stop so that he can curse the very day he met Liam. Now Louis isn't opposed to some exercise. Nope. Not at all. He loves playing footie. That's evidence enough that he has nothing against physical exertion. It's just that he's more amenable to exertion when it isn't before the sun wakes up.

And Liam's already jogged out of sight, in the few minutes Louis was lost inside his head. He takes a huge deep breath and gives up. Fuck it. He's running laps, isn't he? He'll come back, for sure. Louis plops down on his arse under a nice shady tree.

Closing his eyes, he wills sleep to come back and take him away along with her. No. Wait. He's not gonna contribute to society's fucked up gender norms by assuming sleep's gender. Why should he use she? Louis decides that he's gonna call sleep by they/them pronouns- and he's distracted himself again. Shit.

He shakes his head again and tries to focus on going back to sleep again. But that doesn't happen. Instead he feels something wet and warm on his foot. Opening his eyes fearfully, he sees a horrible miscreant of a creature. It's got a wild cloud of hair and ferocious teeth and a sinister grin on its face.

Okay, maybe he is exaggerating. It's a dog. A fucking labradoodle, out of all things. And it's gone and pissed on his left sneaker. Lovely. Exactly what was needed to make his fucking morning.

He glares at the dog without moving from his spot, trying to severely communicate his ire through his piercing burning gaze. He can't yell at the dog though. It's got these adorable button like eyes and such a cute small nose and so much fur- and yeah it's pretty fucking cute, you get the point.

As he's wordlessly trying to yell at the dog, Liam jogs up to him. He takes one glance at the entire situation and bursts out laughing. "Seriously, Lou? You got pissed on by a dog. Wow." The dog gets startled by Liam's voice and runs away quickly.

Louis turns his very much intimidating glare towards Liam at this point. "This is all your fault. Now help me up."

Liam's still giggling as he picks him up and sets him on the ground, "Well to be fair, it wouldn't have happened if you didn't lay down instead of running."

Louis pouts- no wait, he doesn't pout- he puts a manly scowl and smacks Liam on the arm. "I've got dog piss on my shoes and it's also inside my sock and you're still fucking bothered about the running? This would not have happened altogether if you, Liam James Payne, hadn't brought me out with you to this torturous affair disguised as a morning run."

Liam smirks, "To be fair, I would blame the dog for it. It had to be pretty dumb to mistake you for a pole and piss on you."

Louis gasps and sprints behind Liam, who at this point, was well aware of the danger and has wisely retreated a fair few paces away from him and is currently running as fast as he can to escape the wrath of a pissed off - or shall we say, pissed on- Louis Tomlinson.

Running behind each other, they reach their apartment where Zayn is watering the plants in front of their door. He's humming to himself quietly, the tune to Umbrella by Rihanna clearly audible. Clothed in boxers with little minions on them and an absolutely threadbare Iron Man tee, Louis has no idea how Zayn still manages to look like one of Michelangelo's works come to life. In fact, to be completely honest, that bloke David has nothing on how Zayn looks. Louis has always been of the opinion that David has a disappointingly small dick anyway.

Liam quietly sneaks up behind Zayn and wraps his arms around his sleek waist, sighing into his shoulder. "Morning, superstar. Slept well?"Liam asks, snuggling his nose into the junction between Zayn's neck and shoulder. Zayn grins ,the way only Liam can make him, as he protests, "Ew Leeyum! You're all sweaty and gross, geroff!" Liam smiles as he holds him tighter and teasingly snuggles deeper into Zayn, making him laugh and smack him away playfully.

Louis leans on the wall and looks at their antics fondly. They're both very cute together and they're both perfect for each other and Louis very much wants to douse his body with petrol and set himself on fire.

"No fucking in the corridor, lads! Let's get this shit show inside, shall we? And I hope that you've already made breakfast for me, Zaynie. That's the least you can do after your sadist boyfriend dragged me around the city at the ass crack of dawn."

Zayn pulls away from Liam and looks at Louis in an impressive bored manner, quietly scrunching up his nose,"What's that smell, Lou? It's atrocious!"

And Louis decides that the universe  is a cruel bitch and he hates both of these sods as Liam starts laughing again and narrates the entire episode to Zayn, who also starts giggling.

"Really, Lou? A dog pissed on you? Damn, you must live a thrilling life." Zayn smirked.

Louis grumbled, "I will also piss on you if I don't get to go inside and change and stuff my miserable excuse of a stomach with breakfast."

Zayn nods, looking very much horrified because he knows that Louis might be an unpredictable creature but he is also a man of his words. Therefore he may very much do what he just threatened him with.

Louis smirks, having successfully asserted his dominance. "So now that we're all on the same page, shall we proceed?" And he walks inside the apartment, strutting with a victorious air around him.

Liam quietly grumbled, "That bastard." Which resulted in a prompt chirp of "Born one, always will live as one", from the apartment.

Zayn burst into laughter, ruffling Liam's hair playfully,"You know how he loves to trouble you, why must you always give him an opportunity to do it?"

Liam's pout vanishes as he smiles, his eyes crinkling up mischievously. "Who said I don't love troubling him, Zee?"

Zayn groans but gets interrupted by a yell, "Lads, no fucking in the corridor! We don't want poor Ed to have to throw away his doormat again!"