Ghosts we leave behind

chapter 22; wrapping paper

Nora and Elijah stared at each other. Light scattered past the door frame. Elijah feared he'd lost her before even getting her back.

"Nora-"

"I don't want to hurt you, Elijah."

He swallowed. He expected a swift blow. She would break him once again.

Nora needed to put some space between them. It's why her arm was pressed against the wall and Elijah was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking up at her.

"We can stop this, right here and now."

Nora had been silent for too long, allowing Elijah's guilt and anxiety to grow.

"If this isn't what you wanted," it was difficult for him to say. "We can pretend this didn't happen."

Elijah swallowed. The words heavy like little rocks in his throat. She stayed quiet, her mind loud with thoughts. This wasn't something she'd ever done. It made her feel dirty, cheating on Patrick like that.

"It's not you," she replied finally. "I'm the one engaged and I'm the one who stayed."

"I shouldn't have hurled all that on to you. It was too sudden, I'm sorry," Elijah followed.

"I need time," she pressed her lips into a thin line. "To figure myself out."

Elijah nodded, his heart sinking. He wondered if she regretted kissing him.

"I can drop you home, since your car is..."

She had definitely overstayed her welcome. Nora wanted to scream at herself. She'd possibly made the worst day of his life, even worse. It had to be record setting somewhere.

It physically pained her to see Elijah look so vulnerable and hurt. She knew where her heart was. Taking a break from all of this wouldn't change anything. The harsh reality was that she was no longer interested in marrying Patrick. Instead, she dreaded the thought of it. Why it had taken her so long to realise it was beyond her which just made her feel shittier.

"My intention wasn't to hurt you," she felt the need to repeat. "It's just a lot, all of a sudden."

Elijah's gaze lingered for a moment before he stood up. "We rushed into it, I get it."

"Yeah."

He walked towards her. Her heartbeat fluttered a little. But he didn't reach for her.

"I know you felt something for me. That's why you stayed. And for what it's worth, I don't regret any of it."

"I don't want to cheat on him."

"You already have," Elijah reminded her. "Every minute you're here, you're still cheating on him."

She shook her head, frustrated with herself. He wasn't wrong at all. It was just bitter to swallow. Elijah expected her to leave the house, storm out of the room. If she was having a crisis, she wasn't doing anything about it.

Elijah was about to continue when she spoke up on instead. "I'm sorry for all of this, Elijah. But I need to leave."

Elijah swallowed. There it was.

She was shutting him out.

"I'll drive you."

"I'll call a taxi and wait in the living room."

He knew what she meant. It meant, don't follow me.

Before he knew it, she left the room and then the house.