Mending Broken Hearts

33. Masks

June 2020

Madiha

June 8: 'Petite Weddings' Signal Nuptial Future Amid COVID-19. (WUWM Milwaukee's NPR)

There's an old Hollywood proverb that goes, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."

Perhaps the most stressful plan any couple can make is a wedding. But there aren't many laughs at the wedding chapel these days, as coronavirus guidelines have led many couples to postpone or cancel in-person gatherings.

I stole a look at an article on my computer that I probably should not have been looking at while sitting in the residents room with Jake, the intern on service with me, answering a page just a few feet away. Yet, what was I to do? Despite Omar still being in the ER downstairs where I left him that morning, and not even having a phone to call Abu yet, I couldn't stop that smile from creeping on my face, under my mask. 

Thank God for the masks. I had kept thinking to myself all morning. 

In fact, that was all I would say about being in love with a man who loves you back with equal devotion. Whose every touch, every word in that low, resonant voice, sent shivers down your spine. Who looked at you like you're the only person in the world for him, and made you feel like no obstacle was too high or adversity too formidable, as long as you had each other.

It is an incredibly freeing and unearthly, almost heavenly, feeling. And it made you want to soar without limits, because you knew that he will always be your safety net. Though, admittedly that may lead you to do somethings that you later regret, like yelling at a cop.

But most of all it made you randomly think of him, relaxing the muscles of your cheeks and widening the veins, increasing the blood flow, all resulting in uncontrollable blushing - in the middle of rounds, while putting in patients' order, when talking to an attending or another colleague. 

I sighed silently. I loved being in love with Omar.

Suddenly, a women's voice spoke over my shoulder. "Planning a wedding?"

Startled, I looked up at my attending. "Dr Stuart. Oh hi." 

"Wedding?" Jake almost skipped over to me. "Are you and Omar finally getting married?"

"Yes..." Jumping the gun, I know but I was at loss for words. Us being married just felt so right, like we had always been destined to be together. A fact that Jake was already touting to Dr Stuart. 

"I always knew these two would end up together. You should have seen the way he said "Madi is mine' way back during our ICU rotation, 10 months ago."

In the somewhat embarrassing revelation of what happened during our ICU rotation, including some incidents I wasn't even privy of, as my attending giggled and congratulated me I was so very, very grateful again for the masks. In the midst of the jokes, though, my pager buzzed. 

Kylie had an update about Omar. 

"I'd love to stay and chat about the wedding, but Omar is getting discharged from the ER-"

The mood in that room instantly changed. "What do you mean - discharge from the ER?" Dr Stuart asked. 

Panic flitted across Jake's face, "Is Omar ok?"

"He is, now..." I narrated the rest of that tale. And it was a good thing that I did. It was even better that I was on call with an attending who was highly supportive of me and an intern who was quite capable of handling the service by himself for an hour. Because soon I found myself relieved of my pager and in possession of Dr Stuart's car keys.