The world is often unpleasant and full of hardships. Great power can come from tapping into fantasies of a better life.
Application –
For fantasies to take hold, they must act as an answer to a harsh reality. Below are some examples where I see fantasy being used in our everyday lives.
Reality vs. Fantasy:
Reality: Losing weight is hard work and happens over time.
Fantasy: There are magical pills, diets, and procedures that make you lose weight quickly without effort.
Reality: Everyday life can get repetitive and boring.
Fantasy: Buy this drink or food item, it will make your morning/afternoon/evening more special.
Reality: Success takes hard work, skills, and passion.
Fantasy: Anyone can get rich quickly. Just buy my book/product/class.
Rethinking Intervention –
My best friend, let's call her C, was always my partner in crime. After high school, we went our separate ways to college. We always made time to hang out when I came back to visit. But things changed when she started dating "A".
A was a few years older and didn't go to college. He was into partying and modifying his car. At the time, he worked at a big-box electronics store. And together with his friends, would come up with schemes to rip off the store. I held my tongue when he mispronounced simple words and said ignorant things. I decided I would support my friend if this guy made her happy.
One weekend when I was home from school, I went and grabbed coffee with C. By this time, they had moved in together. It wasn't going well. They were struggling financially because A spent their rent money on building a sound system for his car. She was racking up credit card debt because of it. I told her she should talk to him about it, that maybe they needed to pay for their bills before any other luxuries.
That was when I didn't see C for almost a year. I picked up my phone one day to hear A cursing me out. After a while, I made the connection that my name was thrown into the conversation during one of their fights.
How could my friend have fallen for a guy with no prospects? When I think back to how C had talked about their life together, it dawned on me. A talked about getting married, buying a house, and having kids. I knew C had always wanted a family. But A had no means of contributing to this life. That was the fantasy he sold her.
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