Ryder is finally cleared to go back to hockey which means it is time to pack up and move to New York. Francesca is thrilled about living with Ryder for the summer and has already made a ton of plans for them. Both want nothing more than a perfect su...
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Dear God,
Did I do something horrible in a past life that you're doing this to me now? If I did I would appreciate it if you'd let me know; because honestly I have had my fill. I think I am a sorta decent guy; well I try to be at least. Yeah I am a little standoffish and I can be sarcastic but I mean I haven't like murdered anyone or anything. I am becoming a better friend and I think I am a good boyfriend. Well I actually don't know how I am doing in the boyfriend department but Francesca says I am doing good, so I am choosing to believe her. I guess I could have been a better son, but you definitely were testing me there. I am not sure what you really expected from me.
They didn't want me.
From day one it was an uphill battle. You know one time I told my grandpa I wish they never had me. It was on my 7th birthday. I was in 2nd grade. In my class everyone's parents would bring in a treat for their birthday. My parents got stuck in traffic. I know they didn't; I know grandpa was trying to save my feelings, but that hurts less than the truth. Anyways he came and brought cupcakes for my whole class and then signed me out for the day to take me to the rink to skate. In the car I started crying, I told him I wish I was never born. He was never the mushy type but he grabbed the back of my neck and turned my face toward him and said 'boy you're here on this earth because god has a plan for you'.
But you see I am 21 now and I still haven't figured out what that plan you have for me is. It can't just be hockey. There are tons of fucking good hockey players.
I don't know man. What I do know is I am really close to hitting my breaking point, and that fucking scares me.
So listen, maybe this whole thing is a misunderstanding. I will give you a second to correct it ok? I will close my eyes and open them and then this bomb sitting on my phone waiting to blow my life to shit again, will have just been a figment of my imagination.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, before slowly peeking one open and looking at my phone. But it is still there.
Ok maybe you were busy. I can give you a second. Let's try again, shall we?
I again close my eyes. This time just to be nice I keep them closed for a moment. Let the big man do it work. Listen I know people are dying and shit he might need a minute; I can respect that.
I open my eyes after a couple seconds and look back down at my phone again.
Nope it is still there; taunting me.
Agent Dickwad: In town next week I am meeting with the Islanders about signing you. If you want to come, wear a suit.
Fuck me honestly. Why does he need to come? What is he gonna do, bully them into giving me an offer?
Me: Why are you coming? Maybe they just don't want to give me an offer.
Agent Dickwad: They do, they're playing games. If we keep waiting they will lowball you thinking you will be desperate. Your first contract should be at least $4 million Carson. Anything less is insulting and your father agrees.
