♡Strange emotions | Kamukoma | FINISHED♡

31 | Don't leave

Komaeda was sitting on Kamukura's couch next to him.

"You are tense, Nagito,"

"J-just tired,"

"That is a lie,"

Komaeda stayed silent. He flinched as Kamukura wrapped an arm around him.

Kamukura tired to kiss him, but Komaeda pushed him away,

"I-I'm sorry, I just- I don't know... I feel sick, sort of..."

Kamukura nodded. "Do you want to lay down a bit? I can make you tea if you'd like,"

He nodded. Kamukura went to the kitchen and Komaeda let out a sigh of relief. He felt bad. Kamukura was just being sweet and caring and Komaeda acted like he was some sort of monster. It wasn't his fault. He didn't choose to be like that.

Did he... did he know his body belonged to Hinata? What would have happened if another boy became Kamukura? Would Kamukura still like him? Oh God... does he only love him because he used to be Hinata?!

The sound of a mug being put on a table interrupted his thoughts.

Komaeda looked up at Kamukura, then at the mug.

"I made sure it's not too hot, you can drink already," He said.

"Thanks..." Komaeda picked up the mug and began drinking.

Kamukura's- or Hinata's?- warm hand rubbed his back.

Komaeda looked at him. They stared into each others eyes. Komaeda could see Hinata in there. When he was focused enough, he could see his friendly green eyes and short brown hair again.

Komaeda reached out to Kamukura's face, but hesitated. Then, he pulled his hand back.

"What are you thinking, Nagito?"

"Do you think... do you think you'd love me in different circumstances?"

"Hm? I'm afraid you have to be more specific. What circumstances exaclty?"

"If... you know, if I... We-well, I don't know how to say it," He stuttered. "But I guess just... if you were... someone else, but not really- I'm sorry, I should just shut up!"

Kamukura's eyes widened in shock.

"How about I answer that when we have a longer talk about this?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

Kamukura looked away. "Nothing, don't worry about it,"

They stayed silent for a while until Komaeda hesitantly spoke up.

"Izuru,"

"Yes?"

"You told me you'll always be grateful that I helped you feel,"

"I did,"

"I... I want to tell you something serious too now,"

Kamukura turned to look at him. Komaeda looked back. He took a deep breath.

"No matter what happens, even if we have to separate," He began. "Please, don't forget, from the bottom of my heart, I am truly in love with the hope that sleeps inside you,"

Kamukura smiled. "I won't forget it. But don't make it sound like a goodbye. I'm not leaving you, Nagito,"

"I-I'm not exactly planning to leave you either, but... who knows, bad luck might finally catch up to me. We might have to break up. You know what happened to Hinata-kun, so-"

"Nagito, can I kiss you now?"

Komaeda looked at him. He wanted to say yes. He would have loved to kiss Kamukura, if he hadn't been in the body of his former boyfriend.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, I don't feel like it,"

"Don't apologize. I asked, I have to be able to take no for an answer,"

Komaeda took a sip of the tea. "I... think I should go home soon." He got up.

"Izuru, we'll hang out again tomorrow, right?"

"Sorry, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, I won't have time,"

Komaeda's eyes widened. "An... appointment? Just a checkup right? Not a surgery?"

"Of course just a checkup," Kamukura said.

Komaeda got nervous. "You're not... lying, right? If you're lying, I'll be mad!"

Kamukura gave him a confused look. "Nagito, what's wrong?"

He sat down again. "I-I just... that's what Hinata-kun said. I never saw him again afterwards. Can I stay longer?"

"Of course,"

Komaeda hesitated for a bit, before hugging Kamukura tightly.

"Please don't leave me... I couldn't take loosing you too..." He pleaded. "P-please... stay with me. I don't wanna mourn anyone else,"

"Nagito, I'm not going to die. I won't break up with you either. I love you,"

Komaeda hugged him even tighter at that. Kamukura began rubbing his back. The same warm hands.