Trepidation || Wanda Maximoff

51| Set Me Free

Riley's POV
I have lost track of the days, meals have been even more inconsistent as Guards, agents, doctors and the leaders/ bosses of the base get even angrier. They take any opportunity to punch me in as many possible ways they can. The worst punishment is the water tank. God I hate it. It has everything to do with my will-power, I have no idea how long I have been there and the seconds eat away at you like hours. They also electrocute me and try to scar my body and mind as frequently as possible. Multiple times a day I am forced to repeat a phrase that I am slowly beginning to believe. I repeat it every time I see the leaders, every time I am allowed to leave their presence and whenever they ask me to.

I am being trained so much. I have to kill so many people with as many weapons and as brutal as I am told to be. I don't dare disobey them, I do exactly as I am told, when I am told, no matter what I am told. The amount of deaths I have whiteness is horrible. It rips at my mind and controls my nightmares. The angry, fearful, sad and pained expression of every person I have killed. Some look me dead in the eye and some won't even look at my face. Some try to fight back but there is one constant - they always lose. Their faces haunt me every night but I have to do it, when I refuse the Hydra agents take them away and torture them until they die. I don't want them to face any more suffering, so I kill them as quickly as I can.

Time feels like it has been slowed down to make my torture even longer, even worse.

Just let me go. Just let me be free. Just kill me.

I spend lots of my time in my cell, I definitely spend more time in other places like the training room or the lab - as they like to call it, its just a torture room with another name to make it sound safer and less painful - I sit in my cell and think, I hardly get any sleep due to lots on my mind. I think about The Avengers as best as I can. I am finding it harder to think about the happier memories as the painful ones are like a cancer that keeps coming back just when you think you have escaped it for good it leaps on you pulling you down.

My memory is hazy sometimes, the constant electrocutions and blood removal along with the torture is probably the reason. I can remember names and faces - I haven't forgotten anyone, I have a list I go through in my head to make sure I remember everyone: Peter, Wanda, Pietro, Steve, Bucky, Tony, Aunt May, Sam, Kate, Yelena, Natasha, Clint, Bruce, Vision, Thor, Loki, MJ, Ned, Flash - I don't know why I try to make sure I remember Flash, it may be because I want to make sure I remember everyone, not just the people I like. I also try to picture their faces, some are more blurry than others but I can see them all.

I can remember some moments With people, the most recent ones, like going to the amusement park. My dates with Wanda, when I confessed I liked Wanda, Confessing my love for Wanda, Hanging with Peter, MJ and Ned at school, when i first became The Spider, when i moved into the compound. The main things are much easier to remember but some things are harder, My time living on the streets is very much a haze, like a fast blur. I know that I did movie nights with the teens in the compound but I just cant remember what happened there, or even the movie we could have watched.

I have spent ages just trying to remember the memories I know I am missing trying to fill in the blank spaces, but I just can't.

The door to my cell opens as guards walk inside ready to take me to training. I look to the floor, as I sit in the corner of my cell anxiously awaiting an order to do something. I must not do anything unless told, I must not speak unless spoken to and instructed to answer and I must not look anyone in the eye or at their face unless directly told to by a superior.

"Up girl. You will follow us to the training room" They instruct, I stand ready to follow and they lead me to the room I have walked to many times by now.