The Cure To All Disease

Chapter 7: Staccato

Even though the peaceful life by the shore had become what I was used to, I enjoyed living this new life in the city. This apartment was perfect for the size of a family of four, and there wasn't much free space to wander around while Troy wasn't teaching me. I collapsed in my bed in this new room, I needed to use a ladder to get there, I always had a fascination for loft bedrooms and as the city was so compact they were quite easy to find. I'm not sure Nika had that in mind as he picked out an apartment in the city but I was happy nonetheless.

I was excited to get home and open up my electronic journal, I was confused about Melokuhle and someone needed to hear even if that person is only my future self. Everyone could tell that I was acting out of the ordinary, I wonder what they are thinking is the cause. So I began to record my experiences;

"I may be too old for this by now but, I've been thinking my head has been everywhere with thoughts, to put them all into words seems impossible. I suppose I could begin with the fact that today is Melokuhle's birthday, I'm so grateful for him. I know I've said this many times, but no matter how old he gets I still can't forget the face Troy made as she grasped him as an infant. When I smiled at him today while he was playing with his friends I saw a new side of my little brother. Why is it so important to look cool in front of your friends? Why do you need to impress them by being rude to the only people who will stick by you regardless of whether or not you impress them? Friends don't matter, Troy and Nika taught me long ago that they were disposable and you were bound to lose them anyways. Even so, even though they don't matter I can't help but look at Melokuhle's life as he has friends and goes to school and gets to go to all the places I only see in pictures; and feel as though my life is a barren empty wasteland. It shouldn't matter but I can't stop feeling like I've been wronged in some way. I can't stand it sometimes. Why is he so different? Why? Why? Why?!" I clasp my hands over my mouth, feeling water rushing down my cheeks but not sure as to where it was coming from.

"I'm sorry, Troy." I muttered, closing the journal and deciding that now is the best time for a walk. It's getting a little late but I'll be back before they even know that I'm gone, I continue to reason with myself as I disarm the lock and sneak out the fire escape stairs.

I stand on the metal platform for a while, staring at the view of the skyline over the approaching dusk. I'm lucky that no matter where I seem to make my resting place I seem to also get a complimentary view. I attempt to make another step down the stairs when I see Melokuhle standing right next to me. I must have forgotten to lock the window and he saw me as he was going to do the responsible thing. I suppose this is a small price to pay for being irresponsible.

"Amby?" He tugged gently on my sleeve, "Mama told me to come and get you, so you can't leave right now." He was acting like his normal self but with the memory of the way that he glared at me before at the party flashing in my head, I couldn't be my usual self.

"I'll be there in just a minute, okay?"Hunching over slightly so we can meet face to face I place my hands on his shoulders. It would appear that I hadn't grown much since I had started doing that, however I couldn't say the same for my little brother who has changed a lot since he was four.

"Don't run off, Mama told me to tell you that you'll be in trouble if you do." At first I found myself surprised at this. Now I realize that they must have received a notification of some sorts when I opened the window. I wasn't that loud when I stepped outside and it was something that I did often when upset. I don't know why they'd think I was trying to 'run off', or maybe it was a joke I was overthinking. Troy jokes around like that sometimes.

. "Amby you seem phased only slightly but still phased." I don't think I am but Melokuhle seems to think so, lately I did get caught up in thoughts but I wasn't right now. "Okay, I'll just go to bed now, goodnight." He motioned towards his bed inside the house. Ever since he turned three he started sleeping under my loft which was in the same room.