Free Time: Gifts Not Included ((Kamukura X Komaeda))

Free-Time-Event [Chapter Five]

 Since the funhouse, I could not stop thinking about the emotion I read behind Komaeda's eyes.
That anger, that hidden malice, and what for?
It was not an emotion that had been there previously, only... Only once he found the files. It was obvious he had been hiding more than the school profiles, and yet I had not thought to ask.

As much as I walked around the island leisurely, I could not find him. The others had already decided on avoiding him, so even if I bothered to request assistance, everyone would have likely refused.
Even though he was angry, the anger was not set off on myself, which meant I still had a chance of talking with him.
Exhaling, I crossed my arms as I entered the hotel grounds, the smell of chlorine filling my nose.
It has been nearly a month since we first arrived, exactly nine people had died since then, and I could smell a new one brimming in the warm island air.
As if on cue, a cottage door opened and Nagito stepped out of his room, immediately locking eye contact.

For a long moment, neither of us moved a muscle. His eyes were stern and full of resolve, and yet his stance appeared afraid. Finally, he tore away and lowered his gaze to the ground, clenching a tight fist as he bit his lower lip.
"Komaeda," I attempted a greeting. "Where are you off to?"
He kept silent before briskly attempting to walk past me. Was he really attempting to ignore me? As he moved close, I reached out and took hold of his arm, stopping him in place.
"Komaeda," I tried again. "You are unwell, will you speak to me?"
He forced a smile and relaxed himself, as though nothing was wrong.
"I'm fine, I'm just a bit busy so if you'll-"
"You were aggressive during the last trial," Did he think I would not notice that? "What is it? How do you expect to be proper lovers if you will not tell me the problem?"
He shook his head, pulling from my grip, yet still maintaining a smile.
"Really, I'm just fine. We all have our off days, don't we? Maybe I was just upset more of our friends were dead."

Did he really expect to lie to me, to withhold what he knew? I wasn't quite sure what I was feeling, but it was unpleasant.
He started off again, but this time I followed swiftly, refusing to allow him out of my sight. It was not until we were out of the gates did he stop and give a heavy sigh without looking back to face me.
"Izuru-Kun... When I completed the Final Dead Room, I learned more about you than I wanted. Things that... Upset me. Perhaps that was Monokuma's goal, but I don't really know what to think. I know asking you is pointless, you wouldn't know anything, but... Would you hate me if I told you, or if I avoided you?"
"I would say it depends," I cocked my head with curiosity. My long hair brushed against the sandy ground, but nothing I particularly cared about. "If it involves me, I would like to know. I would not blame you for knowing such information."
After a long pause, he turned around, the anger in his gaze melting away.
"Izuru-Kun... The reason you don't have any memories... Usami didn't just take away your school memories, it was because you didn't have any memories before Hope's Peak to start with. You... Didn't exist. I was given files on the Kamukura Project. You were made in a lab and..." He stopped himself to bite his lower lip so hard, I would assume it would break the skin.
To this new information, I could not say I had any feelings towards it, moreso, towards Komaeda's reaction to the news, that was bothersome.
I rolled my shoulders before bracing myself to speak slowly,
"I figured as much, honestly. I had an inkling when my senses and knowledge surpassed normal human levels. But... Are you truly planning on avoiding me because of that? You said you loved me, did you not?"
"I don't mean it like that," He softly chuckled, forcing down his sadness. "Because you were made in a lab, there's a chance I could lose you, isn't there? The files didn't say a thing about how long you're meant to live. If I lose you, the Ultimate Hope, I'm not sure I would know what to do with myself."

Avoiding someone because they loved them, it was not something I could grasp. I understood love from the amounts of media I knew, and I got the concept, but the feeling itself was so foreign, it caused a sinking feeling within my gut,
"What about you, Izuru-Kun?" He continued when I did not speak, "Would you be sad if you lost me? There's still a chance we could die on this island, I'm pretty amazed I haven't died already."
"Of course," What sort of absurd question is that, "I chose you as my partner, it would be my duty to mourn your loss."
Komaeda simply chuckled softly and turned away,
"Amazing... Even without emotions, you're still trying. You know, your emotions were removed in that lab, you aren't supposed to feel any at all, and yet I can see you do sometimes. You amaze me at every turn. If I died, I would miss you a lot."
"What else did my file say?" I moved closer, but he did not react. Silence overtook us for a long, painful moment. I could hear Nagito's heart pounding in a rhythm with my own, and the soft breathing he hitched every couple of seconds.
"You..." His voice cracked, "You seem to possess every talent, really. Even mine. It's unfortunate with good luck, you still were unlucky enough to have chosen me as a romantic partner. I enjoy being with you, but you could choose much better."
Talents... Everything seemed to be about talents. I did not care about talents in the slightest.
"I chose you because I decided I liked you. Feeling that emotion, that is good luck too."
With another long pause, he forced a small laugh,
"I suppose you're right, I'm always learning something from you. No matter what, please don't die on me."
Ending with that, he started off again. Was he intending on leaving me behind?
"Where are you going?" I called out, but he did not look back as he responded.
"I'm a little busy, remember? You'll see me again, don't worry. You should spend time with the others instead. I love you, okay?"
Love...
"Very well," I would not follow him, not this time. "Then I suppose I love you as well."
I wondered if I would still love him if I had my memories, something within me told me yes, but I couldn't be sure. At least... He loved me back before he knew of my talent.

The way he strode away on uneasy legs, his jacket swaying behind him. I was almost feeling like it would be the last time I would lay my eyes on him.
I enjoyed our times together, when I spoke for the first time at the ranch, and assisted him with eating when he had been tied up.
I was unsure of my feelings then, but it was not until he had gotten sick did I find that realization.
Komaeda... He took my first kiss, and I took his in return. I cared for him so deeply, and yet I did not understand these emotions of watching him walk away.
He is always learning something from me...? No... I would say it was the other way around. Nagito Komaeda, you seemed to have trained a perfect lab experiment built with no emotions to feel love for you.
With a sigh, I turned away from watching him.
"Just return to me in the end, that is all I ask."

When I uttered those words, I had still been unaware of what was coming next.