ii. realizations

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chapter two

OCTAVIA HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF NEVER HAVING LOST A BLOOD RELATIVE

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OCTAVIA HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF NEVER HAVING LOST A BLOOD RELATIVE. The only person she'd ever experienced losing was her neighbor, Dimitri. The two were best friends, completely inseparable. Octavia's memories of Dimitri are all good ones, because he was good.

Dimitri lived across the gravel road with his mother, grandmother, and younger brother. Their small home was the same size as the Cirillo's. Dimitri worked in the fields day and night. He was the only Morrowson capable of working until his younger brother would hit his growth. They had planned on working together within the next few years, as Dimitri's growth began at age ten, and his brother was nearing that same age. They were planning the rest of their lives, until Dimitri's name was called.

He was fifteen at the time of his death Octavia was fourteen. The people of Eleven believed he could win deeply. He was stronger, braver and more determined than most. Unfortunately for Octavia, Dimitri's desire to live was not as strong as his desire to protect his district partner, Nala. Nala was twelve at the time of her death. She was small and thin. Octavia can recall speaking with Nala one time while she was waiting on Augustus to finish his work. The girl told Octavia that she wish they'd let her work too. Nala wanted to be strong like Octavia was, to which Octavia replied,

"Your strength is in your mind."

Those words ring in Octavia's head now. The weight of the guilt of two deaths lays on Octavia's chest no matter what she does. The ghosts of what she didn't do will haunt her until the day she dies. Which, to her luck, might be sooner than later. She remembers the sound of his name echoing in her ears. She remembers his face on the screen next to Nala. She remembers what he said to her before he left. He didn't cry. He wasn't afraid.

"If one of us comes back, I need you to know that it will not be me." He said. The words were not surprising to Octavia, but were soul crushing. She cried and clung to him. There was nothing she could say to change his mind. He was going to die for Nala. Octavia knew that was who he was, and she loved him for it.

"I love you." She told him. Dimitri held her tightly, to say goodbye. He had no intention to come back alive. His family clutched to him when the Peacekeepers barged in. The combination of his mother's cries and his brothers screams were something Octavia would never forget. Her arms wrap around the younger boy to pull him back from charging at the men. Dimitri smiles at his family and the girl that he loves.

That was the last time Octavia saw Dimitri alive.

                                                   -
Octavia was quick to realize that things were different when you're sitting on the other side. Her and Augustus were in the same room, so that their parents could see them both. The look on Augustus' face made Octavia want to scream. She'd never seen her brother so emotionless. Octavia was not emotionless, she was terrified. She wasn't afraid for herself, but for her brother. There was no way for them both to live. The two hadn't said a word to each other yet, they didn't think there was anything to be said.

When Rhea and Consus came in, the siblings stood immediately, embracing their parents. Even if something went in their favor, only one of them would get the chance to hug their parents again. Rhea muttered a series of words consisting of "my babies," and "I love you both,", while Consus struggled to hold his tears.

"Look at me," Consus' deep voice fills the room. Brown eyes meet brown eyes. Tears fall onto cheeks. That's when Octavia knows that this is real.

"You are both so strong. You are smart. You are not like the rest. I know that you will protect each other with everything you have, and that is all I have ever wanted from my children. I am proud of you, both of you." His voice breaks for the first time in years. They'd never really seen their father cry. Rhea nods at her husband's words in agreement.

"We love you both, too." Augustus says for both of them. Octavia is hardly present in the conversation. She is racking her brain for ways to get Augustus to live. The door opens again, this time revealing a five foot six ten year old boy. Dimitri's family had come to tell them goodbye. Again, the siblings are embraced their visitors tightly. Mrs. Morrowson places a small hand on each siblings cheek.

"You can do this." Is all she says. But the truth is that only one of them might live. They all know that. And the siblings would rather die then come back alone. They all know that, too.

"Thank you." Octavia says, tears in her eyes. She looks down at Thresh. He is only ten this year. He still resembles Dimitri so much. She smiles at him, pulling him into a hug. Since Dimitri's death, Thresh was hardly the same boy he was before. He speaks to no one except his family. He wouldn't see Octavia for months after Dimitri died. She reminded him too much of his brother. He reluctantly wraps his arms around her, silently praying for her return.

The Peacekeeper's are quick to break apart the moment, they rip Thresh out of Octavia's arms and begin throwing the family out of the room. Rhea and Consus do not protest, but tell their children one last time, that they love them. They may never have the chance again. The room is empty suddenly, leaving Octavia and Augustus standing alone with two Peacekeeper's.

"Time to go." The siblings share a look with one another. A look of understanding. A look of love. Augustus places a comforting hand on his sister's shoulder, and with that, they head to the train.

Octavia's mind is swarmed with questions and fears. Her death is now approaching incredibly quickly. The bad part about the realization, is that her brothers death is also coming quickly. Octavia has no idea how to get them out of this situation, because there is no way. They have no options except to fight or die, and the Cirillo's always fight.

END OF CHAPTER

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