Madawa

5

"Assalam o Alaikum, I'm here to see Shahid..?" It came out sounding more like a question. Saman was at the reception desk of Glendora Hotel.

"Walaikum Assalam, may I ask who are you?" The receptionist politely asked.

"His friend sent a package for me, I'm here to pick that up." Saman replied and she almost made a face, cringing at the way it sounded out loud; definitely way weirder than anticipated.

The receptionist nodded and made a call before asking her to take a seat in the waiting lounge.

About five minutes later, a guy, seemingly in his late twenties, was walking towards her.

"It's almost awkward to address you like this but... cheesy chanda?" He let out a short but genuine-sounding laugh which made Saman break into a smile.

"I'm h- a friend but yes, I'm here to pick a package for cheesy chanda." She lied because of what Badass had said and she didn't want the friend to expose her identity.

"Chalein," he gestured her to walk ahead and she did before he casually jogged and caught up to her pace. "Your friend and mine, both have this crazy thing going on," he spoke looking at Saman.

"They do," she replied.

"I think Ma—," he bit his tongue in an attempt to stop himself from speaking, "I mean Badass..." he corrected. "I think he's in love with your friend." He said. "Oh sh- I told you he's a he!" He added, dramatically placing his hand over his mouth. Saman had already realized he was a guy so no shocks there but what he said before that made her stop dead in her tracks. She wasn't sure if Shahid was naturally jittery and enthusiastic or if he was mocking her friend, her?

"I ruined this, didn't I?" He seemed embarrassed. "But don't you think so?" He added, seeming genuinely curious. "He's always talking about her...she's a girl, right? Please don't tell me chanda is chandu." He said before bursting into laughter. "I'm sorry," he said but Saman wasn't offended. She let out a small smile but didn't respond.

They halted in front of a cream-colored door. He unlocked it with a key and there was a huge box placed on the table. He picked it up.

"Let me know where your car is, main yeh rakh doonga," he said. Saman looked at him dumbfounded. She hadn't expected a box so big. She thought it'd be a gift bag.

"Don't worry, I'll have you dropped off," he quickly added before taking out his phone to make a call.

"Amir, mere room mein aayen," he said before pursing his lips together, sending a small smile toward Saman.

Her eyes met her feet instantly and all of a sudden she felt extremely self-conscious. Shahid's words replayed in her mind. I think he's in love with your friend. She didn't know who Badass thought she was but there were certain things she knew; she came here in a rickshaw. From a house that she feared being evicted from every day. Leaving her crippled brother at the mercy of a stranger. The worst part of all this was that she found herself slowly falling for her penpal too. I don't deserve this.

The rest of the day went by in a haze. She was so engulfed in her cruel realizations that she didn't even remember her ride back home.

--

"It's been two days and she hasn't written to me... hasn't even replied to my email. I'm getting worried. Kuch hua tha uss din? Kuch kaha tha uski dosti ne?" Maher frantically asked question upon question, trying to make sense of why she hadn't replied to him.

"I don't know, man," Shahid switched his phone from his right ear to left, "She just went silent all of a sudden. Like she suddenly remembered something." He said. "Guess I shouldn't have told her you're in love with her friend." He blurted out and all of a sudden he could feel Maher's eyes telekinetically drilling holes in his head. Maher was quiet and that meant only one thing—

Facetime call from Maher

Shahid rolled his eyes before receiving the call.

"You told her, what?" Maher shot. He took a deep breath in before placing his hand over his eyes and slowly slid it down his face and rested it over his lips and just stared at his best friend.

"Dude, you're not blinking...it's kind of creeping me out, heh" Shahid smiled sillily. Maher didn't reply. "Yaar I thought maybe she likes you too," he added.

"Well turns out she doesn't. Thank you," Maher replied before ending the call.

Maher stayed up late that night. What he actually falling for this stranger he didn't even know the name of? Was she even a stranger? Even before Shahid told him that her friend didn't necessarily deny that she's a girl, deep down Maher knew. He pried his laptop open and began typing with giving his thoughts a second thought;

I don't know if you not replying to any of my messages is related to what Shahid told your friend but please don't take anything that comes out of that guy's mouth seriously. In grade 11, he got a day off permission slip signed that said his father was serious in the hospital after a major heart attack... by his perfectly healthy father. He's weird like that. I didn't even know if you're a guy or a girl. But I kinda sort of realized this a few months ago... and your reaction to Shahid's conversation with your friend kinda makes me feel like you're a girl. I don't what things to change between us.

Look, the point of this email is that I don't want to lose what we have. It's invaluable for me. I don't know what this is and I don't know what I feel about you but I do know I don't want to lose you. Our relationship doesn't have to be romantic, I swear it doesn't. All I need is to have you to talk to about my day... for my sanity. I know I'm being selfish and needy but I need you.

He hit send before he had the chance to change his mind. He didn't need to know who this person was, all he knew was that couldn't imagine a life where this person didn't exist. He didn't know if it was love, affection or just a habit but he needed her. The throbbing headache from earlier that morning was back. His sister had called to invite him to her wedding and that is when the headache began. Stress headaches were a part of his life now. He placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it, inhaling the burning smoke.

A big wooden box containing the Ravenclaw edition of the Harry Potter series lay on her desk along with tons of Ravenclaw merch. Saman read his email over and over again and she didn't know what to think. She knew that talking to him felt wrong now. She couldn't fall in love. She couldn't let him fall in love with her. He didn't deserve this. She thought. She needed to get away from him before she couldn't.