Birthday-Eve

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Having my birthday with essentially two families is so weird. I want to be able to spend my 16th birthday with everyone, but seeing as I have to choose my mom or my dad's to wake up at, and the other to sleep at, I can't have them both.

It's weird for me since it's literally my first birthday back with them, and it's not like I've had two massive families before. Or even family to really celebrate with.

But I decided that I'm going to wake up at my mom's, we're all going to have dinner later, and then I'll go home and spend the night at my dad's.

So it's currently 10pm, the night before my birthday. I'm just laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I don't like being the centre of attention. It gives me too much anxiety.

I'm the type of person who can't sleep on their birthday, but not because I'm too excited, purely because my brain won't switch off.

I know that Rose and Cosmo are already sleeping, they have been for a little while now. Plus mom and Colin usually just go to bed once they've put rose and Cosmo to bed so I decided to go downstairs and just sit for a bit because I got sick of laying down.

To my surprise, when I get downstairs, my mom is sat on the sofa, with a little box in her lap, with tears rolling down her face.

I can hear her sniffling, as she doesn't even bother to wipe her tears away.

I also now realise she has her hand clasped to her chest, holding what looks to be some sort of necklace in her hand.

I don't want to disturb her but seeing as I'm downstairs now I would imagine she'll notice me anyway.

I quietly walk over and settle down beside her. She's sitting with her legs folded, so I mirror her position, facing her.

She doesn't look up at me but I hear her take a deep breath, before closing her eyes and taking another one. This prompts me to question if she's okay, receiving a little smile and a fond shake of the head in response as she says "i'm okay.. how come you're still awake?"

As she reaches out to stroke my face, making me blush at the affection.

Seeing my red face she cups my cheek and lifts my chin, making me look at her.

She just scrunches her nose when we meet eyes mumbling about how cute I am, just making me blush harder and mumble "mommm stopp."

She leans over on her knees, she'd be too short to reach otherwise, kissing the top of my head and then taking a deep breath, breathing in my scent before she sits back down looking a little less upset now.

I look over at her in admiration, still with red cheeks at her obvious display of affection, I'm trying to get used to it.

Without having to prompt her again she sighs and mutters "i do this every year, the night before your birthday." Making me let out a simple "oh", she then continues saying "I can never sleep so I come down here for a bit, with the few things I had that reminded me of you.."

I just nod slowly in response before I add "I can never sleep either. I don't like the attention birthdays bring, and I know it's going to be different with having you and dad this year."

She looks at me saying "well we don't have to make it big, baby. Whatever you want and can handle is all we'll do, okay?"

I nod with a little smile on my face.

Her smile widens as she stares at my face before she shifts to rest against the sofa, then patting the space in front of her saying "come here," opening her arms for me to slot into.

With cautious movements I do move to sit with her, but I let her guide me to lay against her, as she cups the back of my head to hold against her chest.

I feel her chin rest on my head as she sways us gently.

One thing I've really noticed about Scarlett since I got here, is that she treats me a lot more like a younger child.

I'm not entirely sure if that because she didn't have those years with me, or if it's because Rose and Cosmo are only little.

Either way it's actually sort of comforting. Because nobody treated me like this when I was little, so it's better late than never in my opinion.

It's been really surprising to me how comforting both Scarlett and Ryan are when they chose to not keep me in the beginning, which I somewhat understand now, but I wouldn't have expected them to welcome me back with open arms.

Thinking about this while being cradled in my mothers arms makes me lose control of my emotions a little, with my eyes streaming, causing me to nuzzle further into mom. For some reason, my birthday has triggered all of these thoughts to arise and now I'm having to deal with them all as well as being paranoid about tomorrow.

I feel her arms leave me for a second, making me let out a whimper, but she just shushes me, and wraps her arms around me once again. She grabbed a blanket so she lays that over the two of us, shifting so that we're properly lying down.

I hear her quietly singing to get me to sleep, resting her head on top of mine, before I fall asleep in her arms.

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