Finding Heathcliff

Fifty-One

"Astrid?" Azrael asked, looking at her intently, ready to disobey the archangel and accept the consequences should she not want this. His memories contained the death of her fiancé at his hands and the demon's own thoughts and memories, which Azrael read in his mind in those unguarded last moments as he fell into the pit. He wasn't sure that she was ready to see that...

"I can handle anything, Azrael," to gain the chance for us to stay together, she finished her sentence in her mind, trying hard to shield it from Michael, and make it only visible to Azrael. 

Azrael smiled at her, letting her know she had succeeded, that she was learning to use her powers, then squeezed her hand tighter in his even as he produced an orb of bluish light above his other hand.

Feeling awestruck, Astrid watched the light within the sphere coalesce into wisps of cerulean fog, moving in circles, always faster, as they produced the first images of the past, Astrid's past seen through Azrael's eyes.

She knew that the young girl she saw reading in the window seat of the library, half hidden beyond the long curtains, was her, but she felt as if she was watching a complete stranger. She had been so naive back then, uninformed, a puppet of the man who made her believe he was her uncle... Did he believe that himself? Or did he suspect something and keep her within his reach, dependent on him, for some obscure purpose, was Deimos, Polaris, was her... mother in danger?

The picture shifted then, scattering her thoughts, and Astrid saw herself on another occasion, Azrael's doves swooping into the crumb-filled palms of her hands from the tall bookcases. She turned away from the sphere and looked at him, smiling, remembering that moment; he would step out of the shadows of the library any moment now, walking so close past her that his cloak would brush against her dress, his scent would fill her mind...

He smiled back at her then nodded towards the sphere, where that image had already dissolved into another-- Orion was there, kissing her, and seeing him brought a few tears into Astrid's eyes, blurring her vision until she wiped them into her sleeve. Then she saw herself with her tutors, and Arabella, and then the vision of the library melted away and coalesced again into another picture, that of the Mirror Room of her uncle's castle, lit by an infinity of candles, filled with dancers. Astrid saw herself clad in the white and golden gown which she wore at the last Black Night Ball, looking much more beautiful in Azrael's memory than she remembered feeling from that day. She saw herself weave gracefully through the other dancing couples first with Orion, then with another dancer, until her eyes found Azrael, ready to shoot an arrow through her heart, in one of the mirrors. 

The images showed her on the balcony then, her eyes wide with fear of being outside on a Black Night, her hands reaching out to Azrael as he let himself fall off the marble balustrade, towards the waterfall, his eyes never leaving her as he fell through the night and she kept growing smaller and smaller in his vision, until he lost sight of her entirely. 

Then the pictures changed entirely and Astrid stood in front of a huge, roaring fire, tears falling down her cheeks as she watched, helpless, the witch trial; she saw herself falling to the ground but landing in Azrael's arms as they met again, a year later. 

She gasped when she saw his recollection of the many nights that he had spent next to her on the bed as she travelled across the country, blush flooded her cheeks when she saw him kiss her on her temple, only now witnessing their first kiss which she didn't remember. Astrid felt Azrael's eyes on her, observing her reaction to that memory, but she felt Michael watching her intently, too. She didn't look up at either of them, she only laced her fingers stronger around Azrael's, bidding him to continue. 

He offered her his memory of the Black Night which she had spent at Rigel's house, followed by the scene of the hot air balloon rising towards the sky, seen through his eyes, from the nearby copse. The smooth ascent morphed into the ballon's near fall into the agitated sea at Land's End; Astrid saw herself climbing out of the wicker basket, rushing towards Azrael across the rocky promontory, Orion and Rigel who could not see the fallen angels watching her strange behaviour from a distance.