Boris and the Vampire (Legends of Pinewood 2)

He Will Insult Your House

It was an incredibly strange sight: a snooty vampire who looked like he had never worked a day in his life walking across the gravelly path with two absolutely massive suitcases. I watched him struggle with a mix of amusement and judgement.

The 'struggle' was just for show, of course.

As a vampire, Etienne was more than capable of carrying both suitcases, even throwing them all the way across the forest if he wanted to. It seemed like he just wanted to be dramatic and show me how much he hated the outdoors.

Vampires definitely had a certain... flair to them. I had to give the bastards that. And Etienne's flair was all drama so far. He wrinkled his nose at the mud stains on his pristine shoes and made a show out of looking miserable as he lugged his suitcases to the front door of my house.

I'd almost start thinking Etienne from Logoria castle already regretted coming to Pinewood town. If he did, all the better.

He probably had servants doing this kind of work for him at home, and I was mildly surprised he didn't attempt to make me carry his stuff. Not that I would have. If the vampire wanted to bring all his belongings, he could haul them inside all on his own.

"You brought everything you own, then?" I couldn't resist asking as I stepped past the vampire and opened my front door.

"No," Etienne replied with a polite smile. "Just the cheap items I don't mind being contaminated with werewolf fur and the smell of wet dog."

"I do make a habit of taking naps in the clean laundry pile," I replied casually, enjoying how the vampire's nose scrunched up in disgust.

I stepped inside my house first, but quickly realised Etienne wasn't following me inside. He waited on the doorstep with an arched brow.

"Aren't you going to come in?" I asked.

Etienne crossed his arm and narrowed his eyes at me. "Is that supposed to be funny?"

I blinked.

He sighed. "You have to invite me in?"

It was kind of funny to see the vampire annoyed, and I briefly contemplated leaving him outside for a few more minutes, just to make sure he felt as unwelcome as he was. But I was also ready to go inside. There was a steak with my name on it waiting in the fridge, and the longer we loafed around outside, the larger the chance we'd accidentally run into a human from Pinewood.

"Right. Fine. Come in," I said. "And since I don't want to repeat this process every day, let's say you can come in for the rest of the month."

"Thank you," Etienne sneered.

He placed his two suitcases in the hallway, stepped over some chew toys left on the floor by the werewolf puppies, and entered the living room with me.

With a face like he was smelling something foul, Etienne looked around my messy living room, taking in the carton boxes and the mismatched old furniture. He poked at some dried out flowers in the windowsill but retreated his finger quickly. "How... cozy," he said. "Not entirely what I'm used to."

Oh, I was sure my house didn't compare to an underground castle with servants. Yes, it was messy. There was clutter and stuff in boxes on the floor, but not having a spotless house was hardly a crime (though Etienne frowned like it was deadly sin). Besides, if I'd have to entertain more werewolf puppies in my house soon when their education on humans started, cleaning would become entirely pointless. The rowdy bunch would tear the place apart. I expected bite marks on every single surface soon, and I'd probably have to buy a dog to explain that to the townsfolk.