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contact: florence 💌
florence 💌 spoken to Drew ?
olly 🐞 no..
florence 💌 Callum??
olly🐞 also no.
florence 💌 Olly...what are you going to do?
olly🐞 haven't got a fucking clue.
IM A GOOD ACTOR. It's something I've been reminded of in the last twelve hours or so. As I sit on a porch swing, pretending to read the script which details mine and Callum's characters first kiss, highlighting meaningless phrases and making notes I won't even use.
When in actuality, I am breaking my own heart as I watch Olivia and Callum be all over each other a mere fifteen metres away from me . Using the shield of my Chanel sunglasses to hide the watering of my eyes the longer I force myself to watch them.
I couldn't sleep last night. But who would when you're in love with your best friend who isn't your best friend anymore and your boyfriend is the sweetest person on this planet, but he's just not your person. It was five hours of tossing and turning and drawing our different scenarios, just trying to find one where I didn't hurt anyone: me, Callum, Drew. But when it got to six oclock in the morning and nothing had come to me, I got out of bed.
Taking note to hide the bag with the dress in the back of the closet — god knows how exactly I'd explain it to Drew if he found it.
Drew can tell something's wrong with me, I both love and hate that intuition he has — he brought me breakfast up. He sat next to me as I savoured the last few moments where he would love me, where he wouldn't hate me and look at me like I am to him what I wish he was to me. Everything.
I need to talk to him soon, he leaves soon. In a matter of hours even. But I can't, because I still adore him — and if a certain six foot something British brunette man who hadn't be unknowingly to me had my heart for the last however many years I wouldn't have to have this conversation with him. Our kisses still make my lips curve into a smile, the way he slides his arm around me when he approaches me still makes my stomach feel all fluttery. I still want him, I think I will always want him.
But aforementioned six foot something British brunette man who hadn't be unknowingly to me had my heart for the last however many years does indeed exist. And he glances up to me from staring at her, his smile faltering when he notices I'm looking which I have been for too long.
