𝚆𝙴𝙱𝙲𝙾𝚁𝙴.𝚎𝚡𝚎 | m!yanderes x f!reader

006/ SECONDARY MATCH !!!

TW: domestic violence, physical/mental abuse, suicidal ideation

// Sunday, October 22 – 2:49 AM

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry. It's been one week since I last talked to you. Have you been okay? I'll remind myself to speak to you more often.

It's also been one week since I found "WEBCORE". I had to fill out a user survey last night. And guess what? I rated everything 5 stars. Haha. Can you believe it? The me from one week ago sure as hell wouldn't - she would've rated everything 0.

But you see, a lot has happened between then and now.

Let's start with the smaller stuff.

Ever since I told my parents about WEBCORE, they started making jokes about it all the time. Especially Dad.

"A website that connects you to strangers? HA. You met any good fellas on there? I'm sure they want to do more than just talk, if you catch my drift."

"Did'ja say the AI was sentient? Can you date them too?"

"Hey, can you link me up to this site, ______? Your mother's been getting on my nerves. Would love to see what the market's looking like."

He said that third comment during dinner last Monday. It caused Mum to choke on her food, while Dad did nothing but laugh before it caused yet another heated argument. Our dining room is small, so their shouting echoed off the walls and rickety cabinets. They were so loud. I wish I brought my headphones because my ears were hurting so bad, especially when they stood up suddenly and spat venom at each other.

Their fight was all over the place. It went from Dad claiming that Mum doesn't pay attention to him, to Mum complaining about doing all the cooking and cleaning despite also working full-time, to Dad denying that and saying Mum never appreciates all the good things he does, to Mum shouting that's exactly what he does to her, to Dad bemoaning Mum's looks and how she doesn't put in as much effort for him like she used to, to Mum saying the same thing. They often jumped to each other's past mistakes - that's when their screaming got the worst.

All I could do is stare down at my half-eaten plate, which clattered whenever Mum slammed her fists against the table to emphasise her points.

I lost my appetite. So when neither of them were looking, I snuck back to safety (my room) and logged into "WEBCORE".

The following day, I got my Biology test back...I got 43%. I don't know how I did so terribly. I studied so hard for it, I even stayed up the whole night before to do more practice questions. It was the worst result I got. Would you believe that I was once a straight-A student?

My grades have been declining across the board, which is bad because my parents are so damn insistent I become a doctor. As if that is the be-all, end-all. As if it would solve all my problems in life if I had that kind of money and status. Sometimes it feels like they want me to get into medical school just so that they could brag to their families, or to feel chuffed with themselves that they have a doctor daughter, or so that they could find meaning in their marriage again. So that having me as a child wasn't a waste after all.

Selfish reasons. They don't care about what I want AT ALL.

Anyways, I hid my test result from Dad but somehow he found it. He always does. I could still feel red-hot beating he gave me afterwards on my cheek and back, with a wooden spoon no less. I've learned not to cry too hard, because that always makes it worse. It's a little funny honestly. Why would you hit someone harder for crying? Don't you know that will make them cry harder hence make you hit them harder? It's a cycle. Everything is a cycle. My Dad's Dad beat him up for small things too, which is what he uses to justify himself all the time. Same thing for Mum.