I'm Yours

Sadhika

No one told me what it feels like to come to your home again when you thought It doesn't exist anymore.

It feels like getting those toys you loved when you were a child but couldn't afford. Now you don't want to play with them anymore.

It feels like those raindrops that are unable to give life to the plants that have already lost their roots.

It feels like a buffet of different food items that you crave but you already had your meal.

It feels like having cold water in winter and hot water in summer.

It feels like quitting smoking but you're already at the stage fourth cancer.

"You there?" He asks again when I don't answer his previous question.
Because God help me, I don't how to answer him anymore.

This is the first time we're so close, he's so close that I can't feel my legs anymore. I can't feel the darkness of this room and I can't feel the emptiness of my heart. All I can feel is him, everywhere, in everything.

"Fuck, Amber. Why are you not breathing?" He asks, though I can't see his face in the dark but I can imagine frowning his eyebrows.
And then I realized I was not breathing at all.

What the hell is happening?

"Breath, baby." Baby? "Take a deep breath and relax." I do exactly as he asks me to do.

"Good, that's my girl." He sighs. Who is this person? And what did he do to Rudra Vashishta? I'm confused as hell. He was not like this. Not at all.

"Why are you calling me that?" I asked pushing him away. But he doesn't budge from his place.

"Calling you what?" I can hear the amusement in his voice. He's enjoying this.

"Amber, baby, or whatever. That's not my name and I'm not your baby." This time I push him harder and he finally gives me some space to breathe.

"I know what is your name and I will call you whatever I want."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will." This man!!

"Do whatever you want but leave me alone." I stride towards the door but he holds my hand and says-

"I can't." He can't?

"You did that for seven years pretty nicely." Fuck! Why did I say that? I should go from here. I don't know what else comes from my mouth next.

I try to free my hand from his grip but he checks my fingers for something but can't find anything.

"Are you.....are you engaged?" He asks as if he knows the answer already. I want to say No. But that's not true.
I can't hide the truth. Anyway, after some time, everyone will know.

"Yes." If I thought that my heart was broken before, then it's completely shattered now. Never in my imagination, I thought of this day, this moment when I had to tell him that I was engaged to someone else.

"Where is your ring?" Curiosity is audible in his voice. The audacity this man has.

Why does he care by the way?

"It's none of your business. And for God's sake leave me the fuck alone."
I try to raise my voice but it comes out like I'm not able to speak at all.

"I've already told you. I can't. And it is my business. Now tell me, why are you not wearing your ring?" Is he gone mad?

"I'm not answerable to you."