Chapter 6. War of annihilation | Bellum internecivum

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Chapters 6 & 7 are dedicated to all those who lost their lives in the terrorist attack in the Minsk metro on this day 13 years ago. April 11, 2011.


Quid tibi vitandum praecipue existimes quaeris? Turbam. Nondum illi tuto committeris. ...Inimica est multorum conversatio: nemo non aliquod nobis vitium aut commendat aut imprimit aut nescientibus allinit. Utique quo maior est populus cui miscemur, hoc periculi plus est. Nihil vero tam damnosum bonis moribus quam in aliquo spectaculo desidere; tunc enim per voluptatem facilius vitia subrepunt. ...Avarior redeo, ambitiosior, luxuriosior. Immo vero crudelior et inhumanior, quia inter homines fui. ...Subducendus populo est tener animus et parum tenax recti: facile transitur ad plures.

Do you ask me what you should regard as especially to be avoided? I say, crowds; for as yet you cannot trust yourself to them with safety. ...To consort with the crowd is harmful; there is no person who does not make some vice attractive to us, or stamp it upon us, or taint us unconsciously therewith. Certainly, the greater the mob with which we mingle, the greater the danger. But nothing is so damaging to good character as the habit of lounging at the games; for then it is that vice steals subtly upon one through the avenue of pleasure. ...What do you think I mean? I mean that I come home more greedy, more ambitious, more voluptuous, and even more cruel and inhuman, – because I have been among human beings. ...The young character, which cannot hold fast to righteousness, must be rescued from the mob; it is too easy to side with the majority.

— Moral Letters to Lucilius, Letter VII


"Cody has a document number forty-one. Gloria has number forty-two." I'm taking down the numbers of the archives that Nate has surreptitiously got from the students.

"So, which one else is noted... Here it is, Ellie, seventy-seven."

I throw the pen on the table and dig my fingers into my hair. "This is God's greatest setup. How else can I explain this?!" I start to raise my voice.

"I don't get it."

"I had the seventy-sixth." Leaning back in my chair, I look at the light bulb right above our table.

"Fuck. But maybe she's already cooled down? Have softened up?"

"Are you hungry or what?"

"Honestly, I could eat an elephant."

"There is no elephant, but I have a chocolate bar with pop rocks." I take out a large bar of chocolate with pieces of caramel, which we loved to eat as children. Nate tastes it and, after chewing a little, holds his mouth open listening to the caramel pop rocks 'sizzle' on his tongue. I take a piece and repeat the same process.

"Imagine the librarian coming in here and seeing this picture: two students sitting with their mouths agape, and somewhere nearby is the sound of frying bacon."

I start laughing, almost choking on chocolate.

"What are we doing here?" Blake appears out of nowhere, and we start laughing even harder.

"Help yourself." I hand her a piece and watch the same picture.

Nate chuckles. "Muscle memory."

Throwing the bag on the table, Blake sits down next to me and looks at my notes.

"E-? Who is this? You didn't finish writing here."

"Guess who's the luckiest with the seventy-sixth archive here, and who has the seventy-seventh?"

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