When it's Over

Part 2

Morgan

            My house is quiet as always since my mother doesn't get home from her job at the club until after 4am. I've been putting myself to bed and waking myself up since the third grade. To be honest, I like home better when I'm the only one here. Tonight of all nights I'm especially grateful that no one was here to see me when I got back from Rick's house.

            I press the towel to my lip, hissing a little at first when the rough cloth scrapes against the open flesh. The ice I've wrapped inside should help to dull the throbbing pain. Unfortunately it's a trick I learned last time he decided to use his hands on me. I could excuse it away as an accident or a mistake before, but twice means we are starting to slip into some sort of sick cycle that they try to teach young girls about in school.

            Maybe you're wondering why I don't get help. I'm embarrassed. I don't want to have to tell people that I still love him in spite of what he's done. We have been together since we were fifteen and he is the only happiness I can find in the small town. If I told someone then I'd have to admit that I know better and yet choose to stay. So you see, I have no choice but to try and help him because my heart just can't let him go.

            My phone buzzes on my desk and I watch as it dances across the flat surface. Rick. He's called four times since he dropped me off. I glance at the clock and see that it's getting close to his curfew which means he's finally heading home drunk to sleep off this part of him that makes my body shudder and cower.

Rick: Baby please answer.

Rick: I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

Rick: I'm going to bring you something special to school tomorrow to show you how much I love you.

I feel like throwing up. I lean over the old toilet in this run down apartment and watch as a drop of fresh red blood drips from my split lip and falls into the clear water. It could represent me in our relationship. I once was strong and full of life, but I've become diluted and weak. I've blended so much with his life that you can't even see me anymore. It's like I'm not even there. My stomach rolls and I squat down. As dirty as I feel, throwing up might actually help.

Rick: Answer your phone baby.

Rick: I love you.

I clean myself up and take a look at my reflection in the mirror as my phone continues its relentless buzzing from the counter near the toilet. I wonder what would happen if it fell in? My eye is turning blue above my cheekbone and the split on my lip is much worse than the last time. I think he even surprised himself the first time the back of his hand landed against my cheek. He'd stopped, a look of horror on his face. Immediately he explained that he hadn't really meant to hit me. He just wanted to scare me a little, but I'd just made him too angry.

I cut ties with Beau that day. He had been my friend since kindergarten, but it was his innocent text that started the fight between Rick and I. In the end, Rick convinced me he loved me too much to hear about me talking to anyone else. A part of my heart fluttered with that explanation. I just want to be loved and appreciated. I laugh without humor at how stupid I was. This isn't going to stop any time soon.

I am one of the smartest kids in my class. It makes this whole situation stink of rotten irony. I'm smart enough to know better, but I'm too dumb to get out. If I don't have Rick, I will have no one. Lord knows my mother sees me more as a liability than a daughter. She only lets me stay here because I give her my paychecks from work. If she thought I was breaking up with my only chance of getting us out of this town, she'd go through the roof. Well, at least my stuff would go out the window and my butt would be kicked out the door.

I wash my face and brush my teeth the best I can with the tender flesh and bruised skin. Then I climb into bed and plug in my phone. I don't expect an email back tonight from the woman who gives advice, but I hope it comes soon. I don't know what to do other than learn all about why he's becoming this monster and how I can make it stop. I'm about to shut my phone down for the evening when my email notification shows a new message in my inbox.

From: WesLee >

To: Secret >

RE: Books?

July 23, 2015 at 11:04  PM

Dear Heartbroken,

            Webster's Dictionary defines the word accident as: an event that is not planned or intended, an event that occurs by chance. Kind of like how you put a "C" at the end of your recipients email address instead of the "E" that you intended. Because of this small accident, I received your email instead of Mrs. Weslee. I believe the word for what happened to you is actually abuse. If you do not believe me, you might want to look up asshole and idiot. I think your boyfriend's information will be listed directly below the definitions in the examples.

            You asked for some book recommendations so I've gone ahead and looked up a few you might be interested in. How to Leave an Abusive Relationship, How to Break-up with your Abuser, and a few of my favorites, How to Spot a Douche-bag, and Five Ways to Get Away with Murder.  On second thought, we should save that last one for me.

            I've come up with your exit plan. The first step is to leave him....well, that's pretty much the only step that matters. Good luck and be safe.

Yours,

Man Who Thinks Your Boyfriend Needs to See My Fist Up Close

            My first reaction is to freak out at how awful it is to have sent my email to the wrong person. It only furthers my embarrassment over the whole thing. But then I feel my split lip crack again as my lips curl up in a smile. I'd never expect to have an ally in this town when it comes to second guessing Rick. He is the most popular guy in our class, his family owns half this town, and he was voted most friendly three years in a row. Somehow this guy on the other end of the email thread can see right through the fake exterior and can see Rick for exactly who he is. It's just too bad he doesn't know how none of that matters when you're the poor girl from the wrong side of town. If I leave him he'll kill me, and the whole town will help him burry my body.