How To Know If A Boy Likes You

Why Men Go Silent

Okay...I"ll get on with it.

But first you're going to need a reminder or an education on the evolution of the male side.

Men are instinctively natural-born hunters and we've evolved from that. So talking was not exactly the smartest thing to do when we were hunting our next meal.

Hunting often requires almost complete silence.

If we're in a group we could use hand gestures (or ) to formulate the attack.

The last thing we wanted to do was scare away our prey. Now this is just a theory but the guy who did scare away dinner probably didn't make it home...

Silence equals safety especially when dealing with an animal who could rip us to shreds.

That and a few other reasons is why man's primary form of communication evolved differently than women therefore men have learned to communicate with actions, hand gestures, and directly focused eye contact.

Men go silent for more reasons than having nothing to say. They also do it to avoid making a situation worse. It's a helpless stage. Like how if everything you do is wrong, why bother doing anything at all. 

 Going silent is the kind of relationship behavior that can feed on itself until it becomes a pattern that seems to engulf the couple. The natural response from many women is to force a conversation when her man goes silent. But that can make it even more difficult for him to speak. Which leads to more forcefulness. Which leads to... Well, you get the picture.

Men Ain't Supposed to Talk

Many men are at a disadvantage in discussions about relationship dynamics because, in general, women are simply better trained at it. Throughout their development, girls tend to talk about relationships more than boys.

To put men at an even greater disadvantage, many of us have been taught that it is effeminate to discuss... that stuff. As boys, we faced ridicule if ever we ventured too far toward feminine discourse. Those experiences stay with us, and it can be remarkably difficult to break those ingrained gender rules.

We Feel We Cannot Win

A surprising number of men have admitted to me that they feel outmatched during arguments with their wives or girlfriends. They have said things like this:

"I'm not as quick on my feet as she is.""She comes prepared with her arguments and I don't.""She seems to remember everything I've ever said or done. My mind doesn't work like that.""She brings up old arguments that I thought we had settled. I don't know how to defend against that."

These men tend to believe that anything they say will get them into trouble. Talking makes them feel vulnerable to criticism or shame, and so they do what seems like the only sensible thing: they stop talking.

We Get Angry

It's true, sometimes we clam up because we're angry. For many men, anger is the default response when we feel wounded, criticized, disrespected, isolated, or even sad. It often takes time for us to realize what has prompted our anger. Until we're ready to discuss it, silence may seem like the safest option.

It Pains Us to Argue With You

I don't think many women realize just how important you are to us men. (The good men, anyway.) An unhappy woman is a painful experience for many men. When the same old arguments show up repeatedly, we start to feel powerless to keep you happy. That's when some men give up and go silent, because passively making things worse is more tolerable than speaking and actively making things worse.