Falling in the Dark | ✓

25 | Red

"Going somewhere?"

Not looking away from my reflection in the mirror, I say, "Dinner with Felix at seven."

"A date." Vera nods approvingly, raising herself to a sitting position on her bed and rubbing her bloodshot eyes with her palms. As she sits up, I notice that she's wearing the white knit cardigan that Mom had gifted her last year.

"Not really, it's just The Blacktop," I shrug, running the brush through my damp hair.

Still bitter about that unwarranted apology that Felix coaxed out of me, I drop the hairbrush into the closet drawer and shut the door with more force than necessary. I flinch at the loud bang of the wooden door, a tremor running along the edges of the closet.

"Whoa," Vera mutters. I can feel her eyes burning into my back. "What's up with you today?"

I had been in a rush to leave the library yesterday after Felix had so graciously accepted my apology; I kept refusing his offer to buy me dinner. But he let me leave only after I promised him that I'd see him tonight.

It's not really Felix I'm so upset with. I'm angry at myself and how helpless I am to change this situation. If only I didn't feel the way I do about Liam . . . If only Vera and Liam weren't together . . . If only I'd stayed in my room that Friday night instead of going to Astrid's party . . . If only I didn't feel the way I do about Liam . . .

Each 'if only' is part of a pointless, exhausting and vicious circle.

"Nothing," I sigh in response to Vera, letting my hands fall to my sides, my fingers grazing the soft fabric of my pajamas. "Sorry."

Vera climbs off her bed and stands beside me. We both stare at the closet. Her tone is sympathetic when she asks, "What is it? Can't find anything to wear?"

I can't help but let out a sad little laugh. If only it were that simple.

"Here, I know just the thing," she says, pushing me to the side and throwing the closet door open. She reaches into the back and pulls out a black piece of fabric. Holding it out to me, she says, "Ta da!"

"No!" I say as soon as I recognize the black dress that Vera has been badgering me about ever since I bought it on an impulsive shopping spree. "Are you crazy? I'll freeze to death."

"You're going to The Blacktop, not the North Pole," she deadpans, arching an eyebrow. "Wear your coat when you're outside and you'll be fine."

Vera pushes the dress into my hands, and I accept it with a scowl. A moment later, an idea strikes, and I brighten up.

"Will you come with me, Ver?" I ask, widening my eyes pleadingly. "Just to ensure that I don't die of hypothermia."

She rolls her eyes heavenward. "You're not going to die of hypothermia. And no, it's your date with Felix."

"Please?" I persist, following her as she walks back to her bed and plonks down on it. "I'll even let you do my makeup!"

Vera's head snaps up at that, just as I'd expected. She narrows her eyes at me suspiciously, and I can almost hear the cogs turning inside her head.

"Lipstick, eyeliner and everything?"

"The whole deal. Plus, dinner's on me."

"Can I do your hair, too?"

"You're pushing it."

"Fine. Deal."

"Deal!"

We shake on it, and even as I fear that Vera might turn me into a circus clown just to mess with me, I find myself smiling at the excitement in her light brown eyes.