FTM Transition and Detransition [WIP]

emotional process | II

[Wednesday] January 3rd, 2018

I've now been off of testosterone for a couple months. I told my mom which was the hardest thing to do. She had been by my side throughout the entire transition and I felt extremely embarrassed and maybe even a little ashamed that I had let myself get as far as I did before saying anything. As always, however, she was extremely supportive. I told my counselor as well, and it went a lot better than I thought it would.

I can now confidently say that I am actually, truly happy about the reversing changes that have been happening (get ready for some possible gross details), such as loss of hair on my legs. Before testosterone, it was fine and blonde, but after, it was dark and course. I asked my doctor about it, and she had said that once testosterone stimulates the hair follicles, it won't reverse back to being fine again. But to my positive surprise, gradually the hair has actually been falling out and growing back as being fine and blondish again. This has only happened to a section of my legs, not the entire leg itself, but I hope with time that it'll at least go back to a similar state of what it was before.

Also, the dreaded periods have come back (about a month after I had stopped the hormones). Of course I was partly happy because this meant that my estrogen levels were getting back to normal, but periods man. Periods. Before taking hormones, I had severe cramping the first couple days, with a heavy flow for about three out of the usual five days I had my period. That was about it though; I didn't usually have any mood swings and I never had any cravings for food. Now, however, my side effects are completely different than they used to be. Of course this was my first period in over a year and a half, so I expected it to be a little different. First off, I had minor cramping that lasted for about four days, but it was most definitely bearable compared the the cramps I had had before. Second, the flow was very light and the overall period barely lasted four days. And the most noticeable thing in all of this, is my insane increased appetite the couple days before I even start my cycle. No cravings, unless you count my entire fridge and pantry as a craving.

I've also had a couple drastic, but quick mood swings here and there. Overall though, I'd say so far has been looking good for my detransition.

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Thanks to anyone who reads this! I'll be adding more soon :) [*Proof here that this is in fact my own written story for giver*]