Vacant Heart

Chapter Forty-Five

When I wake, as forewarned, Aidan is gone. My head aches something fierce, and I'm now in a bed rather than the couch I fell asleep on. The aura of the empty household is one I sit on, blinking and staring at the items in my childhood room with slow unwilling study.

With her gone, this place seems like a mausoleum. The bookcases, the old desk by the window—all of it is dusted with a glaring glow, an odd coating over the untouched items.

For the first time, I'm forced to wonder what I'm going to do with the house. I can't live here, but it's long since bought, gifted to me in her will. The upkeep, let alone the repairs it desperately needs...this place is a money pit.

My eyes drift to a paper on the pillow, a broken sheet from one of my notepads. I grab it, scanning the eloquent handwriting.

Whether it's tomorrow or a month from now:
Come see me.

Aidan

I'm still mostly filthy, having been too exhausted to shower last night. Desperate to scrub out the dirt lodged under my fingernails, I pull myself up to shower. Yesterday, this place felt like home. Now, I'm tiptoeing around as if someone were going to creep up on me and repossess it.

When I'm clean and dressed, I set for the stairs to mop the muddy tracks people brought in yesterday and clear away any remaining trash I missed last night. It takes hours to restore the first floor to what would have been her liking. It's near noon when my aching belly reminds me that I skipped breakfast, lunch and dinner yesterday and that I'm apparently running on fumes.

As the coffee brews, the aroma sifts through the air, invigorating my senses as I conjure up something quick and easy. I'm in no mood to concoct something worthwhile. By the time I'm sitting on my own, eating in silence, I realize Aidan was right.

Today is much worse. Much, much worse.

I'm finding it hard to get myself to leave, although there is nothing to do here but reminisce.

It's barely noon before Samantha calls, asking to come over. Despite telling her that the house was already spotless, she insisted, pulling into the driveway not even thirty minutes later. We work together, cleaning up the back yard, the mess Aidan and I left when we were caught in close quarters.

"It looks good," she says, throwing down a broken branch into a pile, "the garden."

"I hope everything grows well."

"Are you planning on staying here?"

"I can't. Not after everything. I can't give it up though. Maybe I'll rent it out. Maybe another family can make some memories here."

"You could always just keep it around for a rainy day, for when you have a family someday. I mean, you have money saved, right? And a big new fancy promotion."

"Sure. Yeah, I could." I stuff the gardening tools into the plastic bin. "I'm not going back to work right away. I spoke to Matthew yesterday. The board has agreed to another month, weeks added for bereavement."

"What are you planning on doing?"

"I might travel a bit."

"To Leavenworth?"

I roll my eyes affectionately at her persistence. "That may be one of the first spots...I was thinking more along the lines of an international vacation. Maybe Prague."

"You've always liked Prague...but alone?"

The doorbell rings, an unwelcome sound even from here. Samantha, my knight in shining armor, heads up the stairs to answer it for me. I grab a massive trash bag from the ground, stuffing rotted wood parked near the unfinished shed into it. I couldn't be bothered to come near it growing up. Now that my mother's gone, there's no reason to ever worry that he'll try to come back to manipulate her. I sure as hell know he's not coming back for me.